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The Official Song Book of
Bonanarchy
Another New Song...
from Laurie
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Cauch'mars
Don't let 'em get puters and go round the bend
Make 'em be upstanding citizens
Mamas don't let your babies grow up to be Cauch'mars
They'll never go home and leave us alone
Tormentin' us is what they love
Cauch'mars ain't easy to love and they're harder to hold
They'd rather have trouble than diamonds and gold
A guided missile is their favorite prize
You never know what they'll say
You can't understand them and they won't die young
Maybe they'll all fade away
Cauch'mars like mayhem and madness and wanton destruction
Life in the gutter is their way of life
Them that know 'em won't like 'em and them that don't
Won't have a clue when to run
They lambaste the sheriff with their nasty French taunts
She wishes they'd stop, but we know they won't.
They call the chair Blue Velvet (written from the chair's perspective)
A way out West there is a ranch they call the Ponderosa
And at that ranch there is chair and the stories it could tell ya
I sit and wait for Adam to come and bring his guitar to strum
And when he sits on me to rest, I know he loves me best
Blue Velvet, Blue Velvet, they call the chair Blue Velvet
Before I came out West to live, I was crafted by a tradesman
And then one day I was shipped away and then I met my Adam
From my journey I survived and at the ranch arrived
That's when I met the man in black when he leaned against my back
Blue Velvet, Blue Velvet, they call the chair Blue Velvet
In this room I'm the envy, of every chair and settee
I've heard them moan and start to groan when he sits down upon me
And by the fire I'll remain, while other chairs cry in vain
I've had Ben, Hoss and Joe but I need my Adam on me
Blue Velvet, Blue Velvet, they call the chair Blue Velvet
Starbuck Cauchemar
Theme Song:
Good Bye Earl:
From the Dixie Chick’s
The Theme song for the Chauchmar Family song!
By: Korn!
Not authorized for any to copy or use just for fun!...
Well after I wrote it down I didn’t figure about listening to the words and I thought some people might get offend so, instead worrying about if someone is offend I changed some of the things around.. okay a bit...but isn’t that what we do in make believe... I am not trying to copy this is just for fun. I hope no one gets mad and If you know this song you know why I changed the words around....lol... so, I hope you like it and if you never heard of the song... then it probably won’t help...lol.....
Starbuck and Jo were best of friends all through their high school days Both members of the Bonanarchy Club and both active in the others just like it! After graduation Jo went out lookin’ for a bright new world. Jo looked all around this town and all she found was Wild!
Well it wasn’t two weeks after they adopted Wild, and Jo started getting in trouble with the law. She put on dark glasses and long sleeved blouses and make up to cover and hide from the law. Well she finally got the nerve to get up and leave that town, but Sheriff Shelly knew better than that and she wanted that Chauchmar Family and she put her in Jail right away Starbuck Flew in from Atlanta On a red midnight flight. She held Jo’s hand and made out a plan. And didn’t take them long to decide that they had to get even. Good bye Sheriff... those black eyed peas they tasted all right to Me! Sheriff Do you feel week? Why don’t you lay down to sleep Sheriff? Ain’t dark?
The cops came by to take Jo in but they searched the house high and low they tipped there hats, and they said thank you Chauchmar if you hear from her let us know. Well the weeks went by and the weeks buy and turned into spring turned into summer and summer faded into fall and turned out that the sheriff was a missing person and who no body could find at all! So the Chauchmar Family bought some land that was out on highway 109 sell Tennessee ham and some jam they won’t loose any sleep at night! Cause the sheriff was gone! We need a break. She said, "lets go out to the lake Sheriff!" Will pack a lunch? Will stuff you in the woods! Well that’s all right ? Good lets go for a ride Sheriff?
Bo'narachy (to the tune of Rawhide)
by
Starbuck
Rolling, rolling, rolling,
Through the posts we're scrolling,
Keep the Mouses rolling - Rawhide
Songs, Drazzles and stories
Bo'narchy forever
Wishin' my disk was in my drive
All the things I'm lovin'
LJ, Hoss and Adam
Are waiting at the end of my ride
Move 'em on, Hit 'em up
Move 'em on, Rawhide
Cut 'em out, Ride 'em in
Cut 'em out, Ride 'em in
Rawhide
Keep groanin', groanin', groanin'
The pictures have me moanin'
Keep those fingers typin' - Rawhide
I don't understand her
My hard drive has an error
Soon it will shut my system down
The stories I'm a missin'
Along with vittles and kissin'
Waitin' at the end of my ride
Move 'em on, Hit 'em up
Move 'em on, Rawhide
Cut 'em out, Ride 'em in
Cut 'em out, Ride 'em in
Rawhide
L.O.B.O.T.O.ME (L.O.B.O.T.O.M.Y) to the tune of D.I.V.O.R.C.E
by
Starbuck
Our little Cooch is 4 yrs old and quiet a little horse
So we spell out the words we don't want him to understand
Like V.E.T or his V.A.S.E.C.T.O.M.Y
But the words we're hiding from him now, will bring us much fun and glee
His L.O.B.O.T.O-ME becomes final today
Ben and little J.O.E will be going away
It couldn't happen to a better horse and now our Sport will rule once more
while Cochise's little bits lie on the cutting room floor
Watch him smile he thinks its Christmas or his big birthday
And he thinks C.A.S.T-rated spells fun or play
I spell out all the hurting words and turn my head when I speak
Cause I can't spell the way this mirth that's causing me to laugh
His L.O.B.O.T.O-ME becomes final today
Ben and little J.O.E will be going away
It couldn't happen to a better horse and now our Sport will rule once more
while Cochise's little bits lie on the cutting room floor
OH MISTER CARTWRIGHT (Oh Shenandoah)
by
Starbuck
Oh Mister Cartwright I long to hold you
All my dreams are of we two
You're the only one who can fill my dreams
Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
I'll be waiting for you on my big screen
There's something about the silent type
That's attracting me to you
Oh Mister Cartwright I'll not deceive you
Long as I have waited
The smile on your face
Makes it all worthwhile.
The Cartwrights (to the tune of Miss Cindy)
by
Starbuck
Have you seen the Cartwrights, they're from way out West
They sure can get a girl excited with their bare chests
Get a long home, home my cowboy get a long home
Get a long home, my cowboy cause I really need you now
LJ's Gals:
I wish I was an apple a hangin' from the tree
And every time that L J passed, he'd take a little bite of me.
Adam
I wish I had longer nights, to show the girls the sights
Especially my manly chest cause I know they like it best
Chorus
Pa
They took to me to their parlor they cooled me with their fans
They said my sons were the sexiest things in the shape of mortal man
Adam
My girls hugged me and they stripped me, they wrung their hands and sighed
They screamed as they declared it really is that wide
Joe
She told me that she loved me, she called me sugar plum
Hoss
She throwed her arms around me and from the ceiling I was hung
Pa "Hoss get down from there!"
Hoss
Pa, I would if they would let me of that there ain't no doubt
But you gotta get me down from here before I durn pass out
Chorus
Pa and Boys
It's Bonanza girls in summer time, Bonanza girls in fall
If we cain't have a Bonanza girl we don’t want any girls at all.
HOTEL BONANARCHY
by
deer
On a dark internet
highway
cool mouse in my hand
Radioactive waves of my monitor
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering blink
My head grew heavy, and my sight grew dim
I had to click on the link
Then the LCD jumped before me
I saw him fill up the screen
And I was thinking to myself
This could be Heaven or this is a dream
Then I clicked on the photo
And he showed me the way
There were voices on the web pages
I thought I heard them say
Welcome to the Hotel Bonanarchy
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel Bonanarchy
Any time of year (any time of year)
You can find him here
You can find him here
His pants are tight and painted on
He's got the Mighty Ponderosa
He's got a lot of pretty, pretty girls
That he calls friends
How we surf on the website
sweet cyber sweat
Some posts to remember
Some posts to forget
So I called up the BOD
Please bring me my wine
They said
We haven't had that spirit here since 1869
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say
Welcome to the Hotel Bonanarchy
Such a lovely Place (such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They're livin' it up at the Hotel Bonanarchy
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise)
Bring your alibies
Photos on the website
Contests on each page
and they said
We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device
And in the dining room
They gathered for the feast
Hop Sing served up the roast pig
All Dlied Up - thlow away the beast
Last thing I remember
I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the list I was on before
Relax said the BOD OF LJO
We are programmed to recieve
You can check out any time you like
But you can NEVER LEAVE
BONANARCHY PIE
(sung to the tune of American Pie)
by Sarah
A long, long time ago,
I can still remember,
I could access Little Joe Online
And even if the password changed,
I didn't have to get deranged,
needthekeys@aol would make it mine......
But then the server bit the dust;
We couldn't feed our Cartright lust
No Ben or Joe or even Hoss;
The Adam fans were at a loss.
I can't help think that deer had cried
thinking that the Sys Admin had lied
And all the website stuff was fried
The day the server died.
So bye, bye to our website divine
Oh the BOD's gone crazy and Bonanarchchists whine
The fanfic vultures are all standing in line
As the Sys Admin says everything's fine
The Sys Admin says everything's fine.....
Patricia
continues...
Did you write a fanfic tale
And do you download tons of mail
Cause Bonanza moves you so?
Do you believe in Little Joe?
Can Hoss touch your inner soul?
And did Adam teach you how to dance real slow?
Well I know that we're in love with them
Cause we're crazy 'bout those Cartwright men!
Pa and his three boys
Bring us all such joy.
I was a lonely dreamin' Bonanza fan
Then I found this crazy clan.
But boy, it really hit the fan
The day the server died.
And we were singin'
Bye, bye to our website divine
Oh the BOD's gone crazy and Bonanarchists whine
The fanfic vultures are all standing in line
As the Sys Admin says everything's fine
The Sys Admin says everything's fine.....
EARLY ONE MORNING
(sung to the tune of...Early One Morning)
by
Starbuck
Early one morning just as
I was logging
Onto my computer and the Internet
Oh my Bonanza and Bonanarchy
With lots of e-mails from friends to read
Remember, remember Adam,
Hoss and Little Joe
Remember, remember Ben and Hop Sing too
Gay is the chatter, fresh are the stories
I've saved to my hard drive to bring back memories
Thus sang the members who
come from many lands
Thus sang our families 'For surely they're all mad'
Oh my Bonanza, oh never leave me
How can I make my shrink understand?
To fill our passion and
feed our craving
We turn to the pages that we have been saving
Oh my Bonanza and Bonanarchy
I want to be first in line at the library.
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