The Tale of the Painted Pony

By Laurie M.

"Dadburn that Little Joe!" Hoss exclaimed as he and Adam left the house, headed for the barn. Hoss was peeved because his breakfast eggs had been ruined due to the unscrewing of the salt shaker lid by the aforementioned dadburned Cartwright.

Adam had also been the victim of his youngest brother's twisted attempt at humor this morning, only it had involved an uncooked egg and his boot. He'd cleaned it out with a rag the best he could, but now he could swear he felt the slimy stuff seeping through his sock.

As the two brothers entered the barn, Hoss continued to mutter under his breath, "I'm gonnna git that Little Joe, I really mean it this time.  He's gone too far." Hoss could see no worse crime than spoiling perfectly good food.

Adam looked meaningfully at him. "You really want to get Joe back ?"

"You bet I do, Adam, you bet I do."

"Well, I've been giving this some thought lately, and I think the best way to get back at our errant brother is to mess with what he loves best...the way he messed with your food, and my clothes."

"Okay, I'm with you, Adam, but what does he love..." Hoss' voice trailed off as he followed the evil gleam in his brother's eye to...Cochise.

"Aw, Adam...you don't mean..."

"I certainly do." Adam replied maliciously.

"But we can't do nothing to hurt Cochise.."

"Of course we wouldn't hurt Cochise, Hoss. It's not HIS fault who's horse he is," Adam grinned wickedly. "How would you like to go into town with me this afternoon?"

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Little Joe had spent the day riding fence in the east pasture, and came in just in time for supper. The rest of the family had just sat down, when Joe returned from washing up. After Ben returned thanks, the boys dug in. Little Joe was clearly nervous about something. He knew his brothers would be looking to get even for this morning. He carefully checked the salt shaker lid before salting his food.

Hoss and Adam exchanged glances and grinned at each other, making Little Joe even more nervous. He gingerly tasted of his drink, expecting...he didn't know what, but expecting something. When the meal was finished without incident Little Joe didn't know whether to be relieved or even more worried. He spent the rest of the evening as jumpy as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs. Finally, he headed up to bed, casting one last look at his brothers as he headed up the stairs. When he reached his room, he jerked the covers back all at once, half-expecting to find a snake or spider or something... but there were only sheets. After carefully inspecting his nightshirt, he crawled in bed, and was quickly asleep.

Adam and Hoss retired soon after Little Joe, wishing their father goodnight as they climbed the stairs. Before long, Ben followed. After they heard their Pa close the door to his room, they waited an appropriate amount of time to allow for undressing and falling asleep. Then the two older  Cartwright brothers crept from their rooms, and headed out to the barn.

Adam had stashed the supplies he'd bought in town up in the hayloft; he'd  been planning this for awhile and had special ordered the items he needed. He had been very pleased that everything he needed to exact his revenge on his  brother had arrived. He and Hoss carefully opened the cans of paint.

Hoss whistled low when he saw the pastel colors of blue, pink, and lavender that Adam had selected. Cochise would be a painted pony indeed. Hoss almost laughed aloud at the thought.

"Sssshhhhhh!" Adam ordered. "Now grab a brush and let's get started."

Soon the black spots of the pinto were the shades of an Easter egg. Even Adam couldn't suppress all his giggles.

"Just wait 'till Joe sees this!!" Hoss exclaimed.

"Okay, let's get cleaned up and get back inside." Adam and Hoss returned to the house, leaving the pinto to dry overnight. They silently returned to their rooms and awaited the dawn.

 

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Adam and Hoss were already seated at the breakfast table when the youngest Cartwright made his way downstairs. "Mornin' Little Joe," Hoss greeted brightly.

"Good morning, Joe," Adam echoed.

"Glad you could join us this morning, Joseph," Ben addressed his son dryly.

"Uh, yeah, good morning, everybody," Joe replied weakly, trying to figure out whether he was off the hook from yesterday or not.

When breakfast passed uneventfully, Joe began to feel more at ease. Maybe his brothers were going to let it slide this time. He listened as Pa divided the chores for the day; he was to ride fence again. Not his most favorite pastime, but it would keep him safely away from his brothers for the day. As he had finished breakfast, he excused himself from the table, and headed out to saddle his horse and get going.

Hoss and Adam exchanged knowing glances and waited. Their barely concealed amusement during breakfast had gone unnoticed by Joe, but not by Ben. "What have you two been up to?"

"Us, Pa?" Adam asked innocently.

"We've been right here, Pa." Hoss responded.

"Yes....so you have...." Pa began, but was interrupted by a blood-curdling scream from the barn. Pa jumped to his feet and ran out the front door, grabbing his gun as he went. Adam and Hoss followed quickly, not wanting to miss the expression on their brother's face.

Pa burst into the barn, brandishing his gun. What he saw there caused him to lower his gun, and collapse into a fit of laughter. There was Joseph, standing frozen in shock, staring at his beloved paint pony. Make that his beloved *painted* pony, for Cochise was no longer black and white, but blue...and pink...and a most interesting shade of violet. Ben wondered how this had happened, but he didn't have to wonder long. The laughter of his older boys, coming from behind him, let him know *exactly* how this happened.

Little Joe attempted to speak, but could only sputter, "Pa...Cochise...he's....he's....PINK!"

Adam and Hoss were holding their sides, laughing hysterically.

"YOU DID THIS!" Little Joe shouted the obvious.

"Oh, but you have no proof of that," Adam managed to get out between guffaws.

"Yeah, little brother, you ain't got no proof at all," Hoss giggled.

"Oh, yeah?" Little Joe responded, for lack of a better comeback. "Well, why are there little purple splatters on your hands, Hoss, and you've got pink ones on yours, Adam!" Joe exclaimed, coming out of his state of shock enough to notice such things.

"Hmmmmm," Adam responded noncommittally.

"Dadburnit! We didn't wash up good....oof" Hoss' unintentional confession was cut short by Adam's elbow in his ribs.

"I KNEW IT! Pa, they did this to Cochise! I can't ride him looking like this!"

Ben didn't normally take sides between his boys, but Joseph had been asking for it lately, and this was classic. This could only have been Adam's idea, obviously carried out with the assistance of Hoss. "Joseph," Pa began, "I looked the other way yesterday, when you placed an egg in your brother's boot, and when you unscrewed the salt shaker lid, so I am going to look the other way today...as you ride off to the east pasture on your...painted pony." Ben dissolved into laughter again.

Hoss and Adam couldn't believe their good fortune. Pa not only wasn't mad, but found it funny himself. They were laughing so hard they nearly hyperventilated.

Joe was going from shock and horror to anger, as his family laughed. "Pa, this isn't funny!! I can NOT ride Cochise like this. Everyone will laugh!"

"Oh, but it IS funny, Joseph, and everyone is *already* laughing, so I don't see the problem," Pa commented, when he could get a word in between fits of laughter. "You can dish it out, now let's see if you can take it."

Hoss and Adam had finally managed to gain control of themselves, but at this latest revelation from their father, they collapsed helplessly into another fit of laughter. Joe favored them with a glare, and clenched his hands into tight fists.

Ben decided it was time to get his youngest out of there before things came to blows. "Go on, Joseph, no one will see you in the east
pasture, and perhaps it...will...rain," he finished barely able to get the words out while controlling his laughter.

Joe vault mounted his horse, and headed out of the barn, soon spurring Cochise to a full gallop. Ben didn't attempt to tell him to slow down, as he couldn't take a deep enough breath to yell.

The three older Cartwrights watched from the barn as Little Joe rode off. They noticed some of the hands coming out the bunkhouse to watch, too. They didn't have to wonder if they'd come out in time to see Cochise; they could hear the laughter. It would take a long time for Joe to live this one down.

*****THE END*****

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