A Song in the Wind

By the Little Joe Tribe

 Editor’s Note: One of the “Bonanarchy Survival” challenges was that the Little Joe Tribe had to write an Adam story, and the Adam Tribe had to write a Joe story. This is the Adam story submitted by the Little Joe Tribe.

Adam pulled his jacket collar closer as the wind whipped the trees into a frenzy around him. He anxiously peered through the darkness brightened sporadically by lightning, searching for any sign of his missing brother. Joe had disappeared three days ago while checking on the herd in the north pasture. The Cartwrights and the ranch hands had searched for him but so far no trace had been found. With the storm building, they had decided to split up in the hopes of covering more ground. Adam knew if Joe was lying injured somewhere, the storm building tonight could kill him.

 Another lightning bolt flashed nearby, and Sport, Adam’s mount, shied. Trying to calm the skittish horse, Adam turned in the saddle -- and caught a glimpse of something dark on the trail ahead of him. Wary, he pulled his gun from his holster and edged Sport closer. Just as he was about to call Joe's name, another lightning bolt hit the ground nearby. Panicked, Sport reared up. Already distracted by the shape on the trail, Adam lost his grip on the reins and fell from the horse's back. He lay on the ground, trying to catch his breath. He started to ease himself up from the dirt, but froze at the sight illuminated by the next lightning flash.

There before him was the still form of his brother. Adam couldn't tell if he was injured, but he could see that he wasn't moving. Despite his concern for his baby brother, it was the sight of the figure cradling Joe that caught his attention. The woman was carefully cradling Joe in her arms and seemed to be whispering something to him. In spite of the constant roar of the wind that whipped the woman's dark hair around her face, Adam was certain he could hear a faint melody being softly hummed. Suddenly, Adam found himself transfixed by her eyes as she glanced up at him. He could almost feel himself being drawn into their steady pale blue gaze as they seemed to almost glow in the flashing light of the storm.

Just as he felt he would sink forever into the mesmerizing blue, Adam was thrown to his back by the energy of a bolt striking not more than 30 feet away. Dazed by the force of the strike, Adam struggled to focus his swimming vision on the mysterious woman. Steadying himself for a moment, he was shocked to see his brother lying alone on the trail and the haunting figure nowhere in sight. Adam tried to pull himself closer to his brother's motionless form, but the movement sent a new wave of dizziness through him. He felt himself slipping into the blackness that seemed to be creeping over his vision. Just before it pulled him under completely, Adam faintly caught the strains of the same melody he had heard hummed earlier, carried on the wind.

  As Adam struggled upward from the depths of the dark void, a soft glow appeared behind him – coming closer, enveloping him. The pain in his head caused by the fall was eased by a combination of both the comforting glow and the soft music. He struggled to rise, remembering his prone brother before him.

  “Hush, my Adam. I will take care of you.”

The voice had a soft English lilt, yet it wasn’t spoken aloud. Rather, Adam heard it in his head – or so he thought. “How….how do you know my name?”

“Don’t speak. Just relax. Just know that I am here.’

Adam forgot about Joe for a moment and relaxed into the warm glow. He felt a soft lap beneath his head and opened his eyes. He looked up into the face and translucent blue eyes of the same young woman he had seen standing over his brother.

His brother! Adam struggled against the glow and the woman’s soft arms holding him steady.

“My…my brother. I must get to him. Make sure he’s…he’s okay.”

“Don’t worry, he’s being taken care of. You are both safe now.”

Again Adam relaxed into the woman’s arms as she wiped the wetness of the rain from his face, using light strokes of her fingertips. Adam became mesmerized by the soothing strokes, staring into her eyes, memorizing each facet of her face.

Her dark black hair shimmered and bounced in the dying wind accentuating her pale, almost translucent skin; within her heart-shaped face, a small cupid bow mouth softly hummed an old English lullaby. As she bent over him, softly caressing his forehead and cheeks, she leaned down to lay a soft kiss on his stunned lips. Adam more than welcomed the offer. She tasted like strawberries.

As he deepened the kiss, Adam felt the passion and longing buildup inside him to the point of explosion. He could think of nothing else but her taste, her smell, her feel. Just when he thought he could stand it no longer, she broke away for air. Reluctant to have the moment pass, Adam kept his eyes closed enjoying the feelings stirring in his body.

“Adam.” He could hear her whisper softy, her voice sultry and seductive. “Adam.” She shook his shoulder.

Adam opened his eyes and focused on the anxious face of his father. “Pa,” he whispered disappointedly as he wiped a hand across his face.

With the firelight dancing shadows all around him, Ben Cartwright bent slightly to peer into the face of his eldest son. “I thought Doc Martin told you to go to bed and get some rest,” he admonished.

Adam settled stubbornly in the chair, his head aching slightly from the movement. “I was,” he muttered. “How’s Joe?”

Ben sighed. “He’s still fading in and out of consciousness, just like he was when you brought him home. The doctor said that will probably last until morning. I just wish he would wake up; I’d like to know what happened.”

Adam nodded. “Yeah, and who the girl was,” he said softly as he stared into the fire.

“Girl? What girl?”

Looking up suddenly, Adam was alarmed that he had said that out loud. “Nothing. It’s nothing. Has it stopped raining?”

Ben frowned at the change of conversation. “Yes,” he answered slowly. “But what’s this about a…”

Adam didn’t give his father a chance to finish as he cut off his question. “I think I’ll go out and get some air,” he said rising from the chair. He quickly covered the area between himself and the door and stepped outside, sighing in relief.

As he breathed in the new fresh air tinged with the scent of rain, Adam began to relax. Off in the distance thunder rumbled and Adam pulled his jacket tighter around him. A movement near the barn caught the corner of his eye and he turned his head for a better look. There she stood, as beautiful as she had the first time he had laid eyes on her. She disappeared behind the barn and Adam quickly followed.

The distance, though short, seemed like a journey. He longed for her touch, her smell, her beauty. Adam reached the far corner of the barn and hesitated, wondering for a brief second if he was dreaming again. He turned the corner and entered the clearing behind the barn. Disappointment set in. She was not there. But the melody she brought with her could be heard in the wind and he soon noticed the back barn door slightly ajar. He knew without even a fleeting doubt that he would find her within. And he did. She stood there, radiant.

He approached her slowly and reached out to touch her form, so afraid was he that she would disappear again. She did not. Despite the rain, she was dry. Despite the cold, she was warm. Despite the dark, she could be seen.

She welcomed his touch, which soon turned into a caress. And, in return, she caressed him. Adam found it difficult to speak but struggled to find his voice.

“Who are you and where are you from?”

“Dear Adam, it matters not where I am from.” Her voice was soft and, though barely audible, it rang through to his soul. “It only matters that I am here in your time of need.”

Together they merged as if one in a deep and passionate kiss. The strawberries returned assaulting his sense of taste and smell. She became to him a familiar presence though in another place and time. He felt lost between now and then.

All thoughts of his family vanished from his mind and all he wanted was to be with this enchanting woman. It was like he had waited his whole life for her caresses and gentle touch. This could not be his home on the Ponderosa; it must be another place and another time. Adam wanted to stay yet he knew he must return to his family. After many long intense kisses that Adam never wanted to end, she disappeared as suddenly as she had appeared. He longed to remain with this enchanting women but intense loneliness overwhelmed him. All that remained was the memory of her touch and the feel of her lips on his. Adam left the barn to return to the reality of his home and family but he longed for her return.

Once more, Adam sat by the fire. Once more, his thoughts were full of the mysterious woman. With a jolt, he suddenly realized why she seemed so very familiar, so easy to kiss. Miranda. She was Miranda Deerborn. What was Miranda doing here, here on the Ponderosa? What was Miranda even doing in Nevada? And why was she hiding and reappearing? The last time he had seen Miranda was the day before his college graduation. Adam held her in his arms for one last time. They said their painful good byes. He was headed home to the Ponderosa, to his family, to the life he left behind. She was headed back to London, to her fiancé.

Adam sat staring into the fire. He was bone tired and ached all over but couldn’t sleep. Not now, not until he figured what was going on. He remembered the spring in Boston that he met Miranda….

He couldn’t believe his good fortune. Miranda was the daughter of his favorite professor. Ethan Deerborn was visiting that year on Sabbatical from Oxford. Miranda had arrived that spring to see Boston and return with her father at graduation.

Deerborn had tickets to a concert and was unable to escort his daughter. He had asked Adam for a favor and the young man politely offered his assistance. He had assumed the professor’s daughter was a small child. Adam was sure Miranda was the same age as Little Joe but when he arrived to pick her up at the Professor’s lodgings, Adam was shocked to find out that Miranda was the same age as Adam and very, very beautiful.

Professor Deerborn had introduced his best student to his lovely daughter, never thinking they would fall in love. She was engaged to a young physician in London and Adam was planning to return home to the Ponderosa.

Within a few days, Adam had learned he had earned the highest grades in his class and had met raven haired Miranda Deerborn, the most lovely woman he had ever known. He had been her constant escort these last few weeks to parties and dinners and the opera. He had held her in his arms and smelled her flowery perfume. He had tasted her strawberry kisses and gazed into those blue eyes until he thought he would explode.

How had he existed before he met Miranda Deerborn? How could he ever return to the Ponderosa without her?

Sitting by the fire in the large room of the Ponderosa, Adam let the memories wash over him.

Then he had been a young man, barely more than a boy, and callow in the ways of women. He had been far from home and had thrown himself into his studies to escape his longing for home and family. But suddenly, Miranda had come into his life, the beautiful, intelligent daughter of his favorite professor.

She had been the epitome of a well-bread eastern lady, but on rare occasions, she and Adam had escaped the watchful eyes around them. On those times, she had behaved like anything but a proper young girl. Adam had never taken advantage of her, but they had shared fervent kisses and long tender embraces that warmed Adam to his very core. She had filled him with an electrifying feeling of vitality. She had a zest, an exuberance about her that he found mesmerizing.

They often picnicked in a nearby park, where the strawberries were in bloom. He would read to her -- sometimes love sonnets, sometimes novels – and always she had listened transfixed by his baritone timbre. The scent of strawberries was carried on the breeze as it gently caressed the young sweethearts with its wispy fingers. After they had tired of reading, they would sit and watch the clouds. Sometimes she would sing, her voice as clear and lovely as that of an angel. The sound of her voice, floating through the air, was as clear a memory to Adam as the image of Miranda’s face.

Adam Cartwright hurried home through the cobblestone streets of Boston. The sounds of his footsteps echoed off the buildings .The late spring night was cold and he turned up the collar of his black coat against the wind gusts coming off the Charles River. A full moon lit the sky. The stars seemed brighter than he had ever seen in a Boston night sky. It was a magical night, this night of the Graduation Ball. 

He had escorted her to the Graduation Ball. Adam Cartwright and Miranda Deerborn had taken the dance floor first, surrounded and admired by the other guests. They made an attractive couple, he in his maroon waistcoat and midnight black suit, and she in her swirling, strawberry pink dress. Her ruby earrings glittered in the candlelight and she smiled up at him. Adam held Miranda in his arms, gingerly at first, very much aware of all the eyes on them. Adam knew he was with the most beautiful woman at the ball and the envy of every graduate and professor that evening. Everyone could see they were clearly in love.

As they danced, Adam ran his hands over her bare shoulders and down her back to her waist, feeling the warmth of her body through the smooth satin of her dress. Her waist was so small he could span it with his strong hands. He felt the touch of her breath on his face and smelled the sweetness of the perfume in her hair. He was very aware of the closeness of her body as they danced.

“I love you Miranda,” he whispered in her ear. She pulled him closer to her. Then they melted into each other’s arms, drowning in each other’s eyes, and for all Adam knew, or cared, the rest of the world might have ceased to exist.

After dancing, she had led him into a dark corner of the hall and reached up pulling Adam’s handsome face down to meet her face. Their lips met and she kissed him passionately. He drew her tightly to him and closed his mouth gently over hers in a long, and lingering delicious kiss.

Adam’s head spun. He had never met such a wonderful woman And she was a lovely woman who not only allowed him  to kiss her, but who encouraged him to kiss her, to hold her, to crush her to him until he couldn’t think clearly.

He was a very lucky man Adam thought as he rushed home through the night.

It was graduation day. Rain threatened to ruin the festivities as Adam stood in front of the library staring at the lists of grades for the final examinations. He hoped the rain would hold off but he could take one look at the sky and know that it was more likely to storm any minute than have the sun break through.

He heard soft footsteps behind him.

“Hello, Adam.” Her voice was sultry and seductive.

”Miranda!”

He turned to see Miranda Deerborn and enveloped her in his embrace. Adam lifted her off her feet with his enthusiasm and spun her around the sidewalk. “What a wonderful surprise! What are you doing here?”

“I had to see you. I had to see you right away, before the graduation ceremony. I assumed you would be here looking at your grades.”

Pulling her closer, Adam looked down at her heart shaped face. Her blue eyes met his gaze.  “You are not only beautiful but you are a very smart woman. And that is why I love you so very much.”

She pulled away from him and smiled weakly. She hated having to do what she was about to do. She looked at Adam’s dark handsome face. Something that raised her temperature and made her heart beat more rapidly. She licked her lips unconsciously. She hated what had to be said.

Miranda had wanted to defy her father and marry Adam. But deep down, she knew she didn’t have the courage to do that. She was promised to Clive Leslie back home in London. But it was Adam Cartwright she wanted more than life itself.

“What do you have there?” she smiled coyly, putting her hand on his sleeve. She gently squeezed his arm. She couldn’t bear to tell him what she knew had to be said. Not just yet.

“The graduation program,” he smiled. ”I am over here.” He proudly pointed to his name listed with those who were graduating with honors.

He handed Miranda the list of graduates and stood studying her as she quietly read. He was glad she was occupied so he could stare without her noticing. Her black hair was piled high upon her head showing off the graceful curve of her neck. The tight bodice of her maroon dress was low cut revealing more cleavage than most proper young ladies in Boston would usually reveal. Adam enjoyed the view as she read the program.

Miranda felt his eyes upon her but continued to read. She knew she was beautiful and no man in Boston would disagree with that or resist her charm. She tried to drag out her last minutes with Adam but she knew what she had to do. Maybe he could figure out a way to change the inevitable.

”Too bad Miranda reads so quickly,” Adam thought. “She is going to catch me staring at her.”

She looked up. Her eyes met his downward gaze. She totally was enjoying his stares. She smiled at catching what he was doing and moved closer. So close that they were touching. Facing him, Miranda rested her right hand on his chest.

“I have to leave in a few days," she said tracing her finger on the front of his starched white shirt. “Can’t you do something to convince my father to let me stay with you? Couldn’t you come to London? Do you really have to go back to your farm?”

“My ranch, not my farm. The Ponderosa. I want to go back. I miss my family. I need to go back home. You can come with me.” He finally spoke the words he had been thinking since he met her.” Marry me and come back to the Ponderosa with me. Be my wife, Miranda.”

Miranda’s perfume filled his nostrils. She smelled like something familiar from long ago. Lilac? Roses? Wild red strawberries. “Marry me.” He pulled her closer still and took a few steps forward gently pushing her into the little alcove under the staircase to the library.

He breathed in the perfume in her raven hair. For an instant he thought “who cares about graduation or Boston or the Ponderosa or what anyone wants as long as I can stand this close to Miranda”. He felt the heat of her body next to him. I hope she can’t hear how loud my heart is beating. He ran his index finger slowly down the side of her face.

Miranda sighed. “I can’t Adam… I can’t live in the west. Maybe I could manage Boston, but not the frontier. And I am promised to Clive. It has all been arranged by our fathers since we were children. I shouldn’t have let this situation between us go this far. I must return to London. I am sailing with my father at the end of the week.”

He couldn’t breathe for the nearness of her and the pain of what she was saying.

He pulled her closer and closed his eyes. Nothing could be better than what he had in his arms here in Boston. Nothing. How could she leave him? How could he let her go?

Melting against him, Miranda returned his heat as he buried his face in her soft raven hair. He pressed himself against her. She pulled from his grasp and stared at him with tears streaming down her cheeks.

“No Adam, I have to go. I came here to tell you good bye and wish you good luck on graduation.”

Adam’s heart fell into his boots. “No, you can’t,” he gasped.

“II must go,” she pulled from his grasp and ran down the path just as the storm broke. A bolt of silver lightning streaked across the sky and thunder crashed. Rain pelted Adam. He was drenched to the skin as he stood helplessly and watched Miranda run down the path.

 As she disappeared from his sight, he turned and walked back to his dorm room, his chest heavy and his heart in shards. The lightning flashed twice more in succession as the thunder added its own noisy repartee; the storm was directly overhead.

Adam felt numb as his face became awash with the rain mingling with his tears. Stopping, he took a deep breath and let it out slowly as he came to a standstill and looked up into the sooty clouds above. "God," he said aloud in a hoarse voice throttled with emotion, "let me see her again. Don't let this happen." He dropped his head onto his chest as the rain unmercifully beat him.

He just stood there looking at the moon's reflection on the current flowing next to the gutter...a broken man. How could he ever love another -- now that he had lost Miranda. A thought superimposed itself on his grief as his mind paid homage to Shakespeare -- of that Miranda in The Tempest, a girl kept virginal by her father Prospero...a girl that fell in love with a prince…surrounded by music from Ariel, the invisible spirit.

“Damn Shakespeare!" Adam silently cursed. "I want her…I need her…I love her."

 Another flash of lightning zigzagged across the sky as he turned, pulling the collar of his coat around his neck and running from the direction to which she was headed when he lost sight of her.

Seeing the same flash, Miranda began to run a little faster as she lifted his skirts to avoid the deepening puddles that appeared before her. She was distraught at the thought of leaving Adam, the one man who bewitched her very soul. Her fiancé, Clive, was kind and loving, and he was going to be even more successful as his medical practice grew; he already had a lovely home on Wimpole Street in London.... but she would not be the center of his world.

As her wet skirts and petticoats became heavier with rain, she continued as the lightning and subsequent thunder were directly overhead.

Her thoughts returned to Adam.

Adam. Tall and black-haired as herself, his hazel eyes and long black lashes seemed to drink her in whenever he looked at her. Adam. His strong shoulders and coiled muscles could make her feel safe when he wrapped his arms around her in an embrace. Adam. His mouth that was almost too perfectly formed to be real but which could become one with hers when they kissed. If he were also a dull or vain man, she could forget him, but...Adam was also blessed with knowledge and wisdom.

She stopped and turned around, seeing a figure in the near-distance hurrying toward her. "Adam," she said under her breath as she felt a tingle throughout her body. "Oh, God," she said aloud, "Please let me never forget him.”

Just as Adam looked up to see Miranda staring back at him, he was thrown to the ground by the lightning bolt that seemed to explode in light and noise before him. Dazed, he lifted his head up and saw Miranda was gone…

As the images of that last painful parting dissipated into the firelight, Adam began wondering. He was sure the woman he had seen on the trail and behind the barn was Miranda. But why was she here? How was she here? What did she want?

“Adam, why don’t you go to bed?”

Turning in the chair, Adam looked up to his father who was standing on the landing of the staircase. “How’s Joe?” he asked.

“He seems better,” Ben replied as he slowly descended to the bottom of the stairs. “He woke up enough to talk for ten minutes or so.”

“Does he remember what happened?”

“Bit and pieces,” answered Ben, shaking his head slowly. “Joe said he remembered hearing the rattlesnake and his horse rearing. After that, he’s not sure.”

“What else did he say?” Adam pressed his father, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice. 

“Nothing that made much sense,” Ben said. “He talked about the cold, and he remembered the rain and lightning.” He hesitated a moment, then continued. “The rest was just, well, I guess you would call it a dream. Joe said he remembered hearing a woman singing, and smelled strawberries.”

Adam stared at his father. “Singing?”

Shrugging, Ben said, “Yes, that’s what Joe told me. You know how it is when you get a crack on the head. All kinds of strange things pass through your mind.”

“Yes, I suppose so,” Adam agreed in a quiet voice. He tried to remember the sequence of events on the trail. Had he hit his head before he saw the woman?

When did he exactly hear Miranda’s voice?

“Oh, I forgot,” Ben said suddenly. With quick steps, he walked to his desk in the den and picked up an envelope. Returning to Adam’s side, Ben held out the envelope to his oldest son. “This came in the mail for you. With all that’s been going on, I didn’t have a chance to give it to you.”

Reaching up, Adam took the envelope from his father. His hand trembled a bit as he instantly recognized the handwriting. He felt his father’s curious gaze and wondered if he had turned pale. He wouldn’t have been surprised if he had.

Taking a deep breath, Adam slit the envelope open with his finger. He pulled the sheet from its cover and began to read.

“My dearest Adam,

By the time you receive this letter, I will have left this world behind. Even my sweet Clive admits there is nothing that medicine can do to stop the cancer and my time on this earth is growing short.

Before I leave the cares of this world behind, I wanted to tell you that you have always been in my heart. Clive has been a loving husband, and I have a deep affection for him. But my feelings for him have never reached the depths of love that I will always have for you.

I so wanted to come visit you, to see your Ponderosa and meet the family you spoke of with such love. I know that’s not possible in this life, but perhaps I might find a way to do it in the next. I know my love for you will not die with my passing from this life. Such a love is stronger than the shackles of a mortal world.

I don’t know where I will be when you read this, but wherever I am, I will be watching over you and those you love. Be happy, my beloved, and think of me from time to time. Perhaps if you sit very quietly, you will hear my voice in the wind, reminding you of our love.

                                                Miranda

Standing silently, Ben had watched his oldest son read the letter and had seen the pain in Adam’s eyes. Now he asked, “Bad news?”

“An…old friend from college has died,” Adam answered in a careful voice.

“I’m sorry,” said Ben, his voice full of sympathy. “Were you two close?”

“As close as two people can be,” replied Adam quietly. He looked at the letter in his hands. “Pa,” said Adam suddenly, “do you believe in angels? I mean, do you think someone who has died can visit you?”

Startled by Adam’s question, Ben didn’t reply at once. He stared in the fire for a few minutes, then turned to face his oldest son.

“I believe that the memory of someone can live long after they die,” Ben said slowly. “When I sleep, I often dream of your mother, as well as Joe’s and Hoss’. In my dream, they are very real. They seem to me just as they were when they were alive.”

  “But it’s only a dream?” asked Adam.

 “I believe it’s a dream,” Ben answered. “I would like to believe that it’s something more than that, that they visit me from time to time to remind me of our love. But that’s probably wishful thinking.”

 “So you don’t think that someone who loves you deeply can somehow return to you from beyond the grave,” Adam said in an almost sad voice.

 Hearing the tone of his son’s voice, Ben tried to offer Adam some comfort. “No one knows what happens after we die, not for sure. Maybe for a special few, for those whose bonds of love are strong enough, the bonds are never broken.” A small smile appeared on Ben’s face. “I think you need someone a lot smarter than me to answer your question, though.”

 Nodding, Adam looked down at the letter and read it again. His face reflected the sorrow caused by the words on the page.

 Walking over to Adam, Ben clapped his son lightly on the shoulder. “Why don’t you go to bed? You’ve had a long day.”

 “Yeah, it has been a long day,” Adam agreed in a weary voice. He rose from the chair and walked slowly up the stairs.

 As he laid in his bed in the dark, Adam tried to sort out his thoughts. Had Miranda found a way to visit him? Or was it just a memory, an imaginary vision brought on by the storm and a knock on the head? But if it was just a memory, why had he thought of her now? Why had the image of Miranda been so strong to him just as her letter arrived? Adam turned the questions over and over in his mind, but found no answers.

 Suddenly, Adam sprang from his bed. He walked to the window and opened it.

Standing in the dark, he could hear the wind rustling through the trees. A smile crossed his face as he returned to his bed. As his eyes began to close, Adam listened to the wind, listened for the voice reminding him of a lost love. Just as he reached that twilight world where one is neither really asleep nor really awake, Adam thought he heard something. The sound was faint, and could have been almost anything – a bird or the leaves moving in the night. But Adam knew in his heart what it was. As he drifted into sleep, Adam listened to the voice singing in the wind.

***END***