EPISODE: The Last Trophy
Reviewed by Robin
Episode 27, Season 1, March 26, 1960
Guest Stars: Hazel Court, Edward Ashley
Written by: Bill S. Ballinger
Directed by: Lewis Allen
SUMMARY:
The episode opens with the stock shot of Virginia City and a well dressed couple getting off the stage. They are English and no one is there to meet them. The very gorgeous wife (Hazel Court who was a huge star in England and also played in numerous horror flicks with Vincent Price) and the very stodgy husband, Lord and Lady Dunsford. No one is there to meet them so they go to the hotel. Fat, evil, piggish Belcher is drinking at the bar. Lady Beatrice is busy counting her luggage and calls her husband Marian. Belcher starts to accost them and teases him about having a sissy name. "There is no need for a scene!" Lord Dunsford exclaims politely.
"Get rid of him!" Bea tells her polite husband as Belcher acts crude and menacing. Marian shudders.
Suddenly Adam Cartwright, looking especially young and gorgeous and hunky, intercedes. He chases the evil bully away and explains he is Adam Cartwright (in case the audience didn’t know) and will take them to his MASSIVE (like himself) ranch the Ponderosa where his father, Ben Cartwright is expecting them. Adam is wearing a handsome cocoa brown shirt and looks yummy. Bea eyes Adam up and down and down and up, much as Hoss looks at a platter of steaming fried chicken. OH BABY.
Flash to the burning Map and four horses riding out. THUMPA THUMPA. What an opening as Adam is the last Cartwright to have his name flash under his image and he looks directly at the camera! THUMPA THUMPA.
Next scene is the Ponderosa dining room with a formal dinner set, even lovely flowers and crystal on the table. They are all dressed formally and just finishing a fine, fancy, formal, meal. Lord D. knew Ben in Louisiana. Hoss adorably says "I always like to hear Pa get wound up, he don’t do it often." Joe and Hoss head for bed, with Joe hand- kissing Lady Beatrice. Adam asks Lord D. if he can see his guns and proposes that they can go hunting for cougars. Marian tries to ever so politely squirm out of the deal and Lady Bea eyes Adam. She says how her husband is supposed to be the best shot in England while staring longingly at Adam. Was she warning him or setting our Adam up to get shot? All I know it was REALLY clear to me that this woman was really eeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil. She eyes Adam and suggests that they take a walk. "If you WANT," says our boy Adam being lured in like a bug in a spider web.
WANT? Oh Baby do we WANT to take a walk with you, Adam!
In addition to all this, the audience finds out that cougars are dangerous if wounded and cornered.
Adam and Bea walk out in the moonlight. Roses are twining over the moonlit fence and they sit on a never again seen wicker bench. She shows Adam a bit of cleavage and says "Call me Beatrice!" Thinking with his lips, rather than his college educated granite head, Adam melts. She leans in and WHAM they are kissing. OH NO!!!!!! She nailed him good just as Ben and Marian stroll out. Ben gives his son a warning look and says significantly "I just convinced Lord Dunsford to do a bit of shooting while he is our guest." (Jeeeez, son, don’t go smooching with married ladies in the front yard. Don’t you have a lick of sense??)
Next scene is Bea and Marian getting ready for bed. He is still calm as cup of flat ginger ale. "Did you have to bring up all that stuff about me being a good shot? And I hope I don’t have to remind you to BEA-have properly!" He says as calm as a clam. Aha!!! Bet she did that kiss and run stuff before!!! And she is setting up our Adam to take the fall into the English Muffins!!! OH NO!! She is going to antagonize her hubby and get Adam shot.
The next morning Bea waltzes down and gloms herself right into the guys hunting trip for cougars on Papoose Peak faster than you can say Hoochie Mama. Wimpy Marian says "OK sure." Bea licks her lips and stares at Adam who is beginning to have doubts about this woman. Maybe Pa pulled him aside and reminded him about the Cartwright code of good-guyness.
Then we see evil Belcher ride up to an old guy on this porch and ask for some tobacco. Before you can say evil stinky villain, the old guy is shot dead and Belcher and his cartoonish band of bad Indians have looted the place. A cute little kid hiding in the bushes sees the whole massacre and eventually winds up collapsed in a heap on the front steps of the Ponderosa, gasping out what happened. Hoss and Joe ride off to make sure Adam is ok. Ben stays home with the little kid to watch Saturday morning cartoons and drink chocolate milk.
Next scene shows a growling, snarling cougar. Adam is going to "Flush out the big one" for Lord D to shoot. He and the wrangler (doomed we know) Whitey explain excitedly that "Them there cats don’t give ya two chances." "Growl Growl Hisss!" says the cougar in the Wild Kingdom clips.
Marian freezes up and can’t shoot and manly man Adam blasts the beast in the nick of time (is that symbolic or what?). Bea goes wild. She just about devours Adam with her eyes and spits on her husband.
Later around the campfire, Lord D. tries to confess that he can hold his gun up but can’t fire (a bit more symbolism?) and Adam uncomfortably tries to let the poor guy save face by changing the subject. I expect Adam to say "What do you think of those Green Bay Packers this season?"
Bea stares at Adam and whines "He insists upon trying and trying, always trying." Poor Adam really regrets he got into this mess.
Bea goes on: "It has happened BEFORE! Now don’t you understand?" Adam sweats and really wishes he had made Joe and Hoss take this trip instead of him. Marian continues about his worries about a man loosing his courage even though he still loves his wife. Adam squirms and prays for death or at least a commercial.
Later that night, Bea wakes up and looks around. Everyone is sleeping amongst the papier-mâché rocks and she eyes our Adam, looking so handsome sleeping. She wiggles over and wakes the poor guy up, claiming that she is cold. "I am sooooooooooo cold, ADAM!"
Adam offers to build up the fire but before he knows what hit him, she is trying to creep into his blankets. "This is better!" She gushes and he cringes.
"Your husband is a friend of my father and that means he is my friend too!” Adam explains.
"You are an honorable man!" she sneers disdainfully. She licks her perfect red lips.
"There are worse things to be!" Adam counters. YEA ADAM!!! She eyes him up and down. Adam says "You are trying to hurt your husband. Why?"
"He is a coward! And you are a back woods philosopher!" (That gal sure has a knack for insulting men).
The next morning Whitey wakes up and before you can say "Egg Mc Muffin and coffee", Belcher and his stinky crew attack them, kill Whitey and shoot Adam in the arm pit with a well placed arrow. They are all captured and Belcher (what a name…BURP) takes them by horseback to the top of Papoose Peak and the land of papier-mâché boulders as his doomed prisoners of badness.
Even then Bea doesn’t stop being despicable. She starts flirting with Belcher. He complains about his squaw’s cooking and makes Bea cook. She roasts his meat (symbolically) and pertly offers it to him. "Rare with a bit of salt!" He takes a bite and then flings it at her. His chunk of meat hits Lady D. in her tush as Adam and Lord D. watch helplessly.
Meanwhile, Joe and Hoss find dead Whitey and continue to search for their brother. Hoss is wearing a fuzzy coat suitable for Sasquatch and Joe looks adorable and about 14. Both have on far too much eyeliner and mascara.
Bea flirts more with Belcher. Adam tries to look tough and challenges the villain with heroic quips. Belcher smacks poor Adam in his armpit wound and Bea flirts more. Marian just wimps. Maybe he should have married Laura Dayton.
"I like a woman with spunk!" Belcher says to Beatrice. "We both know the difference in having guts and no guts!" Eventually he and Lady Bea are sharing his rotgut jug while Adam and Lord D. sit and watch. Marian, that jerk, still wants to reason with Belcher and Adam figures for a moment he could fight him, despite his armpit wound. Belcher fights with the drunk Indians and things get more tense. Dopey Marian still thinks he can reason politely and Adam explains that Belcher is "A bully boy who fights dirty." Bad guys always fight dirty!
Belcher eyes Bea. He growls. "She is my woman. If me and my Indians steal a horse, it is my horse; if we steal a woman, she is my woman!" Bea now has really fallen for Belcher (YIKES!) and says to Adam "What business is this of yours?"
Marian finally gets a bit of gumption and says "You are my wife as long as I am alive!" Dope that he is, he gives Belcher a great idea. He can kill Lord D. The villain challenges him to a knife fight. Bea is the prize. What a prize! At this point, Adam and Marian should tell him "Keep her!" and take off for the Ponderosa.
Joe and Hoss get closer.
Adam tells Beatrice "Belcher is not a glamorous highwayman!" She wants her wimpy hubby to fight Belcher to prove he loves her. DUH! Adam says "Do you know how much effort it takes Marian to kill?" Bea screams "I don’t know. I just want him to do it!" She is one sick chicky! "Then you deserve Belcher!" Adam says disdainfully.
Joe and Hoss get closer.
Marian makes one last wimpy attempt to reason verbally but when Adam offers to fight Belcher, he knows he must jump in to fight the villain or die. "A man can only do what a man can!" Bea smacks Belcher and he grabs her and Marian dives in. The Indian holds Adam at rifle point as Lord D is smooshed and pounded. Bea grabs the knife to attack Belcher. Marian trips the rifle holding Indian. Adam catches the rifle and shoots Belcher just as Joe and Hoss finally arrive to finish the rescue. Hooray for the Cartwrights!
In the last scene, Bea is smiling. Marian is in bed on the Ponderosa wearing a sissy nightie with a Peter Pan collar and Adam is bringing him soup. (Why he is in bed and not Adam is weird, but the whole episode is weird). Somehow Marian and Bea are now happy together as the sadomasochistic poster couple of the year.
REVIEWS:
"While I can see why Lady Beatrice would want the hunky Adam over her wimpy husband, I also can see why Adam wouldn't be interested in such an insensitive, selfish broad. First time Adam ducked in a fight, she'd be out of there! This is, though, a classic example of the Noble Cartwrights rising to the occasion to help some poor couple out of their troubles. We also get to see Joe and Hoss ride to the rescue of their older brother, which doesn't happen often. Not enough Joe in this episode -- and no "shirtless Joe" at all -- but it's OK for an Adam story." Susan Grote
"Lady B was such a slut puppy and my beloved Adam! I was so surprised when he returned her kiss. He knew she was a married woman! I was surprised that Ben didn't haul off and whack him! Adam was looking particularly gorgeous in this episode as Robin so pointedly pointed out! I felt I could almost smell Belcher and his cronies! I sort of like this episode though because it showed the characters as human beings with all sorts of faults, and likes and dislikes. Tweren't nuthin' "preachy" about it." Gail
"This was one of those episodes from before Bonanza really got popular and more gentle and family oriented. I grew up watching Bonanza and it is only recently that I saw this one and was REALLY shocked at the grittiness and harshness of the show. I recall being quite amazed at what was implied but not shown in this episode from the first season of Bonanza. Maybe I was reading too much between the lines but I think not. That was probably one of the best qualities of Bonanza, that the entire family could sit in one room and watch the same show. The kids would see one thing…brave Cartwrights riding in to save the day, mom and dad would look a bit deeper and see beyond the surface." Robin
"It often seemed in those earlier seasons that Adam would kiss anything with lips and lashes if somebody else saw her first. Following the big smoocheroo, he would then have an attack of nobility and convince said lady to go back to her man. Adam shows the Cartwright nobility to good effect here, however, and the rescue scene is a great one with lots of heroics all around. I do feel kind of sorry for Marian getting stuck keeping such a blatantly unfaithful and uncaring wife, though." Helen
"I love the look Adam gets on his face when Pa sees Lady Bea kissing him: "Pa, I can explain, it's not what you think". He really looks guilty, like he enjoyed it and Pa is reading his mind." Ginny
"It's like Adam is saying "She took advantage of me, Pa! All 6'2", 190 lbs of me!! Don't clobber me, Pa!" Ben looks at Adam like he wanted to say "wait until I get you in the house......" Eileen "Fluffy"
"It was a rather awkward situation for Ben, wasn't it? After all, they were guests in his house and his son is caught taking advantage of another man's wife!" Lynne
"Ben wasn't born yesterday, he was a man of the world, and probably figured out fairly quickly that it was a rock and a hard place that Adam was caught between. After all, why would Adam put the moves on someone's 40plus-year-old WIFE when there were all those blonde, blue-dressed virginal types in Virgin-ya City?" Sparky