EPISODE: Hound Dog

Reviewed by Lynne Coulson

Episode 193, Season 6, First aired: March 21^st 1965

Guest stars: Bruce Yarnell, Sue Anne Langdon

Written by: Alex Sharp

Directed by: Ralph E. Black

SUMMARY:

This is the second visit to the Ponderosa from Cousin Muley Jones (not sure how he’s a cousin; I think it’s explained in Saga Of Muley Jones) and it is a far superior episode to the first one. The script was penned by Alex Sharp, who was also responsible for Old Sheba, Ponderosa Matador and The Hayburner, definitely one of the best scriptwriters used on the show, in my opinion.

Teaser: The opening scene has all four Cartwrights gathered around the great fireplace. Ben is reading a book in his red leather chair; Adam gets up from his blue velvet chair to poke at the fire (wonder why, when it’s artificial) and then returns to his seat, where he picks up his book. Hoss is sat on the settee (you will notice he is leaning forward and looking anything but comfortable), looking at the checkerboard, which is on the coffee table. The table also has the jewel in the Cartwright crown, Little Joe, sitting on it, playing checkers against Hoss. Joe is getting angry, because Hoss is taking so long to have his turn and they are squabbling. Adam comments that this is how he loves to spend his evenings -- by a warm fire, with a good book and enjoying stimulating conversation. Joe knows that Adam is being sarcastic and pulls a face at his big brother.

Ben stands up to refill his coffee cup (that man sure loves his coffee) and asks Adam if he went in to see Roy about the coyote problem, when he was in town. Adam admits he forgot and Ben just smiles and says he has to go in the next day and will talk to him.

Hoss suggests that the ranchers put up a bounty for each coyote killed and that this will encourage people to hunt them. Ben says it is a good idea and will suggest it to Roy. As he and Hoss are talking, Joe cheats by moving some of the pieces on the board. Both Ben and Adam see what he has done, but neither of them tells Hoss (I think that is rather mean of them).

When Hoss returns to the game, he realizes that things have been moved. “The dadburn board looks different,” claims Hoss but Joe denies it, and says it’s still the same. Even then, neither Ben nor Adam say that it has been changed and let Joe get away with cheating.

Before Hoss can quiz Joe anymore about the board, he hears hound dogs baying in the distance. He gets up and opens the door, only to be knocked onto his backside by the entrance of four dogs. One launches itself at Ben (well, at a strange man sitting in Ben’s chair) and knocks the chair over and two more jump on the table. Joe picks up a vase of flowers (never seen in the house before -- the vase, that is) but it breaks in his hands (obviously a stunt vase, with Premature Disintegration Syndrome LOL) and he falls off the table. Adam, who is the only one not affected by the dogs’ arrival, throws his book on the floor in disgust (not the first time that young man has abused a book; Pa needs to have a word with him)

As the dogs make themselves at home, Cousin Muley Jones walks in, with his guitar strapped to his back. He helps Hoss up off the floor and shakes his hand very enthusiastically. We can see that he is a big man, even taller than Hoss. He then shakes hands with Ben, tries to with Joe, but Joe backs away, so he then goes to Adam. Joe thinks he’s been spared from nearly having his arm pulled out of its socket, but instead of a handshake, Muley grabs him round the neck, almost ripping his head off. Muley laughs out loud, showing how his voice was able to do so much damage in the previous episode in which he appeared (he kept singing and breaking anything made of glass, windows, bottles, glasses…as I said, a very silly ep).

Opening music and credits

Everyone is sat at the dining table, with the four dogs scattered around the main room.

Muley is feeding his face, with the same gusto as Hoss enjoys a meal, and Joe asks how Muley got the dogs. He explains that he traded them in for his California gold mine with a stranger he met on the road. He has a mouthful of food, as he talks (this is a way that we know he must be related, as Joe does it too) and he sprays food into Joe’s eye. He says that the gold mine never produced very much gold; in fact, in a whole month he barely made eating money, and so it wasn’t such a bad trade. Hoss offers to buy the dogs for $50 and his best squirrel gun. Ben is not keen, and kicks Hoss under the table. Muley weighs up the offer, but decides to keep the dogs. Ben says they must sleep in the barn, and Muley is a bit concerned in case it is too cold out there, but he is assured that it isn’t and Adam offers to help Muley get the dogs settled. The two men leave the table and Joe waves at Muley.

In the early hours of the morning, Ben comes down the stairs, wearing his robe, trousers and boots (why, oh why does he do that, in a house full of men). Adam is sitting in the blue chair, wearing his navy robe and writing in a book (maybe it’s his memoirs?). We can hear the dogs barking and it’s evident they have woken up the family.

PAY ATTENTION – SHIRTLESS JOE ON THE WAY! We now see Joe coming down the stairs, wearing just his pants. He is angry about the noise and asks if anyone is going to do anything to keep the dogs quiet.

Ben says that he is, and he starts up the stairs, just as Muley and Hoss come down. Muley has on an ill fitting nightshirt and his long johns, but at least he is properly dressed for bed and Hoss is wearing his ever-faithful green checked nightshirt. Ben tells Muley to go and quiet down the dogs. Muley is reluctant to go, but Ben says they are his responsibility and it makes Muley doubt that he’s made that good a trade. Hoss hands him his guitar, so he takes it with him. Joe reminds Ben how loud Muley can sing and Ben tells Muley to keep it down. Hoss is leaning on the banister rail, dozing, and as Ben goes to walk up the stairs, Hoss wakes up, with a jolt. They all go back to bed, except Adam, who must have gotten to an exciting bit in his life story and wants to finish the chapter (maybe he plans to do an ML Junior and write an expose about his father – My Life In A Wagon by Adam Cartwright).

Muley settles down in the barn, but the dogs are still making a noise and so he sings to them (I assume Bruce Yarnell, who plays Muley, was a singer, although he’s not someone I have heard of). The dogs gradually settle down and the family manages to get some rest (all except Adam, who is still frantically writing – maybe Pa has met Inger now and he is relating how difficult it was for the newlyweds to get any privacy with a 5 year old boy in the wagon with them. The whole business might have scarred Adam for life and that’s why he never got married).

As Muley sings, we learn that the dogs are called Flop, Filbert, Fargo and Blue (just thought that you might like to know that, as I’m one of those people who always likes to know names of animals and children). The dogs obviously enjoy his singing, but as soon as he stops, they all start barking again.

The next morning at breakfast, Hoss suggests that Muley use the dogs to hunt down the coyotes. If he is successful, Ben will pay him $2 for every coyote caught. Joe agrees that it is a great idea and says that the dogs will get tired being out in the fresh air all day, and so will sleep at night. Muley manages to spit food in Joe’s eye again, but is happy to go along with the idea. He and Hoss embark on a training program to get the dogs to chase coyotes.

Ben goes into town to tell Roy about their idea and Roy says he will spread the word to the other ranchers. As they are talking, a young woman and an old man enter Roy’s office. Ben says hello and then leaves them to discuss their business with Roy in private.

Tracey, the young woman, is carrying a rifle. At first, she gives the sheriff the impression that she has been assaulted by a man, as she says she has been wronged by a passing tall stranger. Roy is all fired up to go and catch the miscreant. What she actually means, though, is that a passing stranger stole her four bird dogs and she wants Roy to hunt him down. Roy says it’s not really his job to do so; he’s a sheriff, not a dogcatcher.

She gets agitated and ends up shooting her rifle, destroying a stuffed bird which is displayed on Roy’s wall, just behind his head. Abner, her father, says she has done nothing else but work with the dogs for the past six months, to the detriment of all her other chores. They leave the office and Roy heaves a sigh of relief that his head is still on his shoulders.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch (I don’t know why, but I love saying that) Muley and Hoss are having no luck trying to persuade the dogs to chase coyote instead of birds. Muley ties coyote skins over Hoss’ boots, and the plan is to have Hoss run across the yard and into the house, and for the dogs to chase him. They do so, getting into the house and doing a fair bit of damage, including ripping out the seat of Hoss’ pants (good job he was wearing his fetching pink long johns)

Abner and Tracey are discussing the disappearance of the dogs and she says she is going to fill the culprit full of buckshot when she catches up with him. Abner tells her to forget about the dogs and cook him a meal instead, as her dear, departed mother taught her to do. Once again, she gets mad and fires her gun, this time breaking the bowl of her father’s pipe, clean off the stem.

The dogs are getting better at chasing Muley and Hoss, who are acting as the fake coyotes, and the two men take refuge up a tree, unaware that a real coyote is watching the fun. Hoss has brought his lunch with him and Muley tries to take some off him, but drops it out of the tree, straight into the jaws of the dogs waiting below.

Finally, the dogs succeed in catching two coyotes (I am glad we are spared that sight) and they return to the yard, knocking Ben over as he comes out of the barn. Hoss helps him up and they tell Ben about the dogs’ success. Muley asks for his money and Ben pays up, then Hoss takes his share. They have to admit that the dogs do still want to chase birds, but they are getting better. Hoss tries again to buy the dogs, but Muley won’t sell them until he has another disturbed night in the barn, and then he agrees.

The next scene has all four Cartwrights in the great room. This time, Adam has drawn the short straw and has to sit on the dadburned, uncomfortable settee (those that know me fairly well will know that the settee and I don’t get along! LOL). Little brother is sitting next to him, playing cards with Pa. Hoss is standing, pouring out the coffee, and Muley has the blue velvet chair. The dogs are barking and Hoss asks Muley to go and quiet them down. Muley refuses and reminds Hoss that he doesn’t own them anymore. Hoss pleads and Adam says “When you buy a dog, you acquire the howl as well.” Hoss looks a little pained, and Adam continues, “You’ve just inherited four dogs and a new house…the barn.” Hoss offers to sell the dogs back to Muley at half the price he paid for them, but Muley isn’t interested. Since now they are trained to chase coyotes, the dogs wouldn’t be any good to him on the prairie (maybe that’s how he is related, through Charles Ingalls).

Hoss settles down in the barn, but the dogs keep on barking, and Hoss decides that he has a real hate for Muley.

We then see Tracey and her father out searching for the dogs and not finding any sign of them. She decides to go and check out the Ponderosa and Abner goes home, as he is hungry.  (This is a bit odd, as it is night time at the ranch when Hoss goes out to the dogs, then it’s daylight when Tracey and her father are searching, then it’s back to night when we return to the ranch)

Once again, we see Adam and Ben in their robes, but Ben does not have his pants on, but long black socks, and then Little Joe arrives, this time in boots, pants and nightshirt. (Waahhh! love him in a nightshirt, but prefer him to be sans pants, as in Gold Detector and Between Heaven and Earth). Our baby is complaining about not having had any sleep for nights and nights (he should have come to stay with me, although he still might not have got much sleep). Suddenly, it goes quiet, and Adam wonders if Muley has gone to help Hoss calm the dogs. Joe says that Muley is snoring in Hoss’ room. Ben is not bothered why it is quiet; he’s just happy to go to bed. Joe, leaning on the back of the blue velvet chair, decides to get something to eat, and Pa tells him to have something for him, too.

When Ben gets upstairs, he finds the dogs in his bed. He and Adam chase them downstairs and the dogs collide with Joe, knocking him through that weak bit of banister that is always breaking, and causing him to drop his snack, which they eat. Hoss arrives, having realized that the dogs have escaped from the barn when Pa’s yelling woke him up. Pa yells some more at him for not fixing the back porch door. No one seems to be too bothered about poor Joe being on the floor and Hoss berates him for eating chicken when they are trying to stop the dogs from wanting to eat birds. Joe apologizes and says they were fresh out of coyote.

Hoss returns the dogs to the barn, and starts to sing to them. Tracey arrives, and points her shotgun at him, accusing him of being a dog thief. He tells her that he bought them from a passing stranger (doesn’t want to implicate his cousin) but when he tells her that he doesn’t have a bill of sale, she refuses to believe him. He tells her to go and wake Pa to get his story verified, but then quickly changes his mind, knowing how angry his father is already.

Hoss assures her that they haven’t come to any harm and hands them over to her. She leaves, and Hoss lies down on the hay. He then realizes that he doesn’t have to sleep in the barn anymore, and returns to the house, throwing Muley out of his bed. (No idea why Muley isn’t in one of the spare rooms). Muley protests his innocence, but Hoss ignores him, and so he goes out to sleep in the barn.

Next morning, Adam and Joe are about to go and check out the fences, and see what the coyotes have been up to. Ben is with them, and then Hoss arrives. Joe teases him about Tracey nearly blowing a hole in his britches and asks if Hoss thinks that Muley really did steal the dogs. Adam says that Muley has the look of a canine thief, and Hoss has no idea what he means until he says ‘a hound dog robber’. Joe says he hopes they can find out what really happened, and then he and Adam ride off. Muley comes across the yard and Ben quizzes him about how he actually came to own the dogs. Ben is not satisfied with Muley’s explanation, and Hoss and Muley realize that Ben suspects that Muley did steal them. Muley goes to pack his stuff, and Hoss tells his father that he doesn’t believe Muley stole them.

At the Leadbetter’s place, Tracey has discovered that her bird dogs will only go after coyotes. She tells her father to fetch the sheriff and says she is going out to teach Hoss a lesson.

Muley has packed up his belongings, and Hoss is commiserating with him, saying that his family always wants to look at things logically. Muley says they don’t understand people like him and Hoss. Muley goes to the barn to collect his blanket and Hoss bends down to pick up a box. Tracey arrives and points her shotgun right at the seat of his britches, telling him not to move. She tells Hoss that he has ruined her dogs and that she is going to blister him good. She shoots and misses him by a mile. (In fact, she manages to shoot just above Muley’s head in the barn – must have that gun that Hoss bought, the one that can shoot round corners).

Hoss and Tracey get into a scuffle and Hoss gets a horse collar over Tracey, but she still manages to head-butt Muley and knock him to the ground. She recognizes Muley as the passing, tall stranger who stole her dogs.

Hoss is annoyed with Muley and leaves the barn. Ben arrives and asks what is going on, releasing Tracey from the horse collar. Tracey says that Hoss spoiled the dogs, and so Ben offers to buy them, or to rent them, to catch the coyotes. When Tracey sees Muley in the light, she is quite smitten with him, and changes her mind about him being a thief.

Abner and Roy arrive from town, and Roy accuses Hoss of stealing the dogs, but Ben explains that it was all a mistake. Then Muley meets Abner and tells them that Abner was the one who sold the dogs to him. Abner admits it; he wanted to get rid of them because Tracey was neglecting her other chores and spending too much time with training the dogs.

Muley and Tracey decide to become partners in the coyote business and Muley says he will stay in the barn at night, to keep the dogs company. Hoss says that he thought he was Muley’s partner, but Muley explains that it’s not the same thing. When Muley starts looking goo-goo eyes at Tracey, Hoss understands. Roy returns to town and the others prepare to leave. Ben apologizes to Muley for distrusting him, and Muley accepts his apology. Abner is not sure if Tracey will forgive him, but she seems to be okay about what he did, as it has brought her love with a passing tall stranger. The three of them ride off, with Muley singing and playing the guitar.

Joe and Adam have mysteriously returned (didn’t take them long to check fencing) and the four of them stand at the hitching rail, talking about how peaceful it is with no more howling dogs.

However, from a distance, we hear barking, and the dogs suddenly appear in the yard. The Cartwrights rush towards the house and Hoss knocks Joe down, but Joe still manages to get into the house with the seat of his pants intact. (What a shame, as we know that he doesn’t wear any underwear)

REVIEWS:

“I do like this episode, as it has plenty of comic moments, gives Adam a chance to show off his sarcastic wit and we get to see Little Joe shirtless and in a nightshirt - what more could you ask for? And I quite like the guest stars, too, although sometimes it felt like they were taking over the show. All in all, it's a good ep, and I think Alex Sharpe did a fine job when he wrote the script.”  Lynne Little Joe forever

“I love Alex Sharp's comedy scripts.  He created great humorous situations for the Cartwrights without truly making them look foolish.  Cousin Muley was a good guest character and his interaction with Hoss was perfect. That bit where Joe gets scolded for eating chicken and snaps back "We were fresh out of coyote." always makes me laugh.” Helen

“I loved your descriptions of the various scenes, my favorite being the one where Adam tells Hoss about the "canine thief"  and Hoss goes "Huh?" and Adams says "hound dog robber" and Hoss says" well, why didn't you say so?".  I thought that exchange was very funny.” Gail (whoa bunny, bonanza)

“My favorite parts of this episode are the scenes with all the Cartwrights -- the opening sequence, the scene when they all assemble as the dogs are howling (spiced up by "shirtless Joe"), and at the end, when they are all anticipating a peaceful night and the dogs reappear. It's always great fun to see scenes when Ben, Adam, Hoss and Joe are together and reacting to one another.” Susan Grote

“They got the traps from that infamous "Acme Trap Company" and had the Road Runner out with that Wiley Coyote.” Robin