EPISODE: Ponderosa Matador

Reviewed by Barb

Season Five, Episode 149, first aired January 12, 1964

Guest Stars: Marianna Hill, Nestor Paiva 

Written by: Alex Sharp. 

Directed by Don McDougall

WET, SHIRTLESS JOE. 

That's it. Thank you. Good Night.

Huh? More? You want more? *sigh* Very well.

Now.  Where were we?  Oh yes.  Wet, shirtless Joe.  Right. 

SUMMARY:

Basically, the plot is that Adam, Hoss and Joe are competing for the attention of Dolores, the beautiful daughter of Senor Tenino. She declares her passion for bullfighters, and Hoss cons Joe into fighting a bull, a situation which Adam watches with amusement.

In preparing Joe to fight the bull, Hoss puts some liniment on Joe’s bare back, rubbing the oil up and down Joe’s skin slowly… Ahem, anyway, the liniment turns out to be for animals and burns Joe. Joe jumps into the water trough to cool his burning back. Just then Adam and Dolores arrive, and Hoss tries to shield his brother, who is lying in the water trough, from Dolores. But Adam rats out Joe. Joe climbs out of the water trough, bare-chested and dripping with water (ahhh). Wet, shirtless Joe just stands there for us to admire. As Adam and Dolores leave, wet, shirtless Joe and Hoss vow to steal the girl from Adam.

Hoss gets a ferocious bull for Joe to fight. Joe is reluctant at best but is determined to show his bravery to Dolores. However, the bull escapes from the wagon which Hoss was using to transport him into Virginia City. The bull runs into the saloon, and Adam, Joe and Hoss enthusiastically run into the saloon after the animal. Ben wants to join into the fun, but Senor Tenino stops him, saying Ben’s sons should handle it (sort of like, let the law handle it). 

In the end, the bull is corralled at the Ponderosa. Adam, Hoss and Joe are beat-up and bruised and wearing torn shirts as they wait for Ben (you can see Joe’s chest peeking through the rips in his shirt). They do their famous “see no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil” imitation until Ben arrives. Ben is furious and yells at his sons about all the damage the bull has caused. Senor Tenino and Dolores also arrive, and Dolores declares that Hoss is the bravest of men. As Joe and Adam watch with sickly expressions, Hoss leads Dolores away.

Why this gal could even consider Adam over wet, shirtless Joe (henceforth known as WSJ) is beyond my comprehension. She should have taken one look at WSJ and said "Joseph, no need to bull fight. You ARE the bull!" 

Not that it was a great loss. Plucked-eyebrow girl would never have been a good match for WSJ, anyway. Let Adam sing for her. Let Hoss read bullfighting books for her. It just saves Joe for Calamity Jane, the girl he SHOULD have ended up with.

Some random comments on the ep:

When Ben shouts: "Boys, if I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times: if you want to do any roughhousing, do it OUTSIDE!", the force of his voice alone knocks one more book off the shelf, right onto Joe's head, and I'm positive that wasn't scripted.

This is the ep with the infamous line where Senor Tenino calls Hop Sing "Poop Sling". How did that ever make it past the censors?

Joe is at his sexiest (aside from the WSJ scene) blazing away with his six-shooters at the bottles on the fence.

I would kill to be the one rubbing lineament on soon-to-be-wet Joe's back. Did I mention that there is a WSJ scene?

Michael's funny faces are at an all time high in this ep. This truly IS one of the best comedic episodes in television history and the loose bull scene at the end is NOT to be missed. I laugh every time I hear Adam mumble "Aha, Toro" and stagger back into the saloon. PR really did a great job on that. 

Finally, WSJ in the horse trough. That alone is worth watching the ep.  Let me roll it off my tongue one more time. Wet. Shirtless. Joe.

*sigh* 

Yeah.

REVIEWS:

"I always feel that Ponderosa Matador is a Bonanza episode filmed in an alternate universe. Hoss is the schemer and gets the girl, Joe is nerdy and awkward around a pretty girl, and Adam actually smiles -- what's wrong with this picture? Everything!"  Susan Grote

"I think this is one of the episodes I probably loved as a kid, enjoy at some level as an adult because I adore anything BONANZA but at some level cringe that these grown men are acting like 12 year olds. It is sort of a Leave It to Beaver/Brady Bunch thing/ Partridge Family dynamic..." Robin

"Having just viewed this ep last night, one thing that stands out was their facial expressions.  When one would speak, the other would grimace or make some sort of expression of pain or confusion.  Then Adam's smirking throughout, knowing that he had the upper hand because HE could play the guitar and quote poetry, and speak a dabble of Spanish.  Great ep, one that I laughed throughout with." Sherri

"I like to see Hoss get the better of his brothers, especially getting the girl.  And it was different with Hoss coming up with the scheme & involving Joe, instead of the other way around.  The only negative thing about that ep was Joe laughing with his mouth full of sandwich, EECCHH!"  Ginny

"Yes, it is a departure from how we usually see the boys, but I still find it believable. LJ was happy to go along with Hoss' plan, because he wanted to get one over on Adam, and so jumped in, without giving the whole plan, too much thought."  Lynne

"One of the better comical episodes, my favorite scene is when Hoss is playing the bull, definite classic material." Faith

"This is the most succinct and satisfying analysis ever written.  Let me say it again: Wet.  Shirtless.  Joe.  Ummmm.”  Puchi Ann