EPISODE: The Last Viking

Reviewed by Robin

Episode 42, Season Two, originally aired November 12 1960

Guest stars: Neville Brand, Sonja Wilde, Al Ruscio

SUMMARY:

The episode opens with Hoss pulling a cow out of a mushy gushy water hole. He meets Gunnar in an outrageous orange satin Huka poo shirt and sombrero and they have a bit of a set to. Gunnar asks directions to the Ponderosa and for Hoss’ name. Of course Hoss is friendly and says "Howdy, My name is Hoss Cartwright and this is the Ponderosa and in case you haven’t been watching, this show this is Bonanza and I am the good guy."

Gunnar knocks his hat off with his Indian spear and then Hoss challenges him to a fist fight. Gunnar is smaller but a good match. They flip each other back and forth like two cowboy Jackie Chans. Gunnar identifies himself as Uncle Gunnar and says "Haven’t seen you since you were little, heh heh" (which we all know is contradicted in the two episodes about Inger. But we also know Bonanza wasn't really great on continuity. Neville Brand as the uncle was probably the same age as Dan Blocker too.)

Hoss brings his uncle home and of course the Cartwrights rush out and welcome him -- all except Joe but he has much more exciting things to do.

"How long since I saw you? 20 years?" says Ben

"Har har!" says Gunnar.

Adam comes out looking very excellent and hunky and eyes Gunnar in his weird outfit and graciously introduces himself.

"Little Adam?" asks Gunnar. Adam smiles cordially. A very cute moment. Too bad Joe wasn’t there to share it. "We got another brother, little Joe," they explain. Gunnar never questions where the mother might be of Little Joe, but who cares. Joe is off visiting a gal, har har.

"Where are you headed Gunnar?" the Cartwrights inquire in their usual jolly manly fashion. Gunnar explains vaguely he wanders around with a band of men having manly adventures. (Gee, are they a Rock Band on the way to Vegas?)

"Stay for supper!" the Cartwrights chorus. Of course he does and he even says he will wash but stays in that nightmarish outfit.

Hoss is intrigued as Gunnar says he was in 26 countries and 5 oceans and fought the Comanches. Ben asks does he know the knows the Comancheros?

Vaca, the evil bad baddie, comes and scopes out the Ponderosa and what Gunnar is up to and asks for blankets. Adam takes them out of the front hall consol (a weird place to keep blankets but I guess the writers never did laundry so they never figured out where blanket get stored). Adam rolls his eyes suspiciously as perhaps this Vaca is a blanket thief.

Ben tucks Gunnar into bed in that downstairs guest room and they have a heart-to-heart guy chat. "Last time I saw you was at Inger’s funeral,” they reminisce and Gunnar tells how he had a wild life, not a settled down one like Ben. Of course he won’t admit it but he is envious of Ben’s happy life. But being a rogue, he has to put down Ben and say that he did "not sit on my back side like a Yucatan turtle. You can’t plant a roving man’s place in the earth."

"I got no regrets," Gunnar adds but Ben isn’t so sure.

"Why did you come here?" Ben asks.

"I come to see my sister’s boy, maybe I don’t get no other chance." (I suppose this is called foreshadowing). "Do you have a dream Benjamin?"

Well, we all KNOW Ben’s dream was to have the Ponderosa and 3 hunky sons so we have to listen to Gunnar give his dream. He says “I do!" and before Ben can say "Who cares?", he describes his dream of sailing on a ship in the night a chasing an elusive boat.

Ben says good night and Gunnar goes to sleep with his coo-coo out fit on, right on top of the covers. I suppose tough guys didn’t wear jammies or need blankets, or perhaps Vaca really had the blanket from that bed and Adam short-sheeted Uncle Gunnar.

Meanwhile the baddies, who are a motley band of Bonanza hells angels, are in their baddie camp amongst the papier-mâché boulders. They discuss if Gunnar has gotten weak and Vaca, the baddest evil guy, says the first goose we pluck is the Ponderosa. (OH NO!!!)

Meanwhile Hoss is happier than anyone except Joe.

Oh yes Joe. Where is he?

Joe, looking GORGEOUSLY GORGEOUS is smooching hottie Carrie and offering to be the permanent fence fixer.  This is a terrific scene of Carrie acting coy and seductive while Joe, being very smooth and hot and thinking with his lips and reeling her in like a mermaid, says "I wouldn’t mind being the permanent fence fixer around here." Hmmmm, does that count as a proposal? Or just a symbolic remark? I wonder if Carrie admires that he has the straightest fence posts in Nevada Territory. Oh boy WOWza!!!

Hoss takes his uncle fishing and asks to hear more about his mom. Gunnar makes some comments about Inger being super dooper and Hoss is happy. Then Gunnar says if you knew more about me, you wouldn’t like what I have to tell. Hoss wants him to stay but Gunnar says "I ain’t no Yucatan turtle."

They go back to the house and Ben is wearing a leather apron making something in a barrel. Soap? Saurkraut? Pulque? Cow chow?

They all say their goodbyes.

Adam still is hospitable but has that cynical look in his eye, matter of fact, both eyes. Gunnar leaves and the boys say they are going over to Mcleans to get Joe to do the haying. (But he is making hay with Carrie – wowza!)

Gunnar goes back to his band of Comancharos. Vaca, the adversary, and Gunnar have a fight over who is the boss. The guy challenges him to loot the Ponderosa. Gunnar says no, and they go off to raid a foot hills ranch – the McLean’s ranch. Vamoose, Amigos!

It is Carrie’s ranch! She and Joe were off in the bushes, wrestling with their tongues when the bad guys attack. Of course instead of hiding in the bushes with Joe, Carrie runs shrieking like a fire siren toward the baddies.  DUH!

Joe goes to protect her and 2 guys have to hold him back and smack him. Bam. The baddie says "Who are you? We want to put your name on your tombstone!" (That is a pretty nice gesture. I wonder if they have that insurance PAX always advertises so you don’t die and leave your family with not enough to bury you?)

Joe defiantly says “Cartwright!  Joe Cartwright.” (Was this where James Bond got the idea to say Bond, James Bond? Hmmm) Joe is soooooo cool and defiant and hot they smack him even more.  But Joe doesn’t flinch, even though he is sweating and his shirt pops open a bit. OH BABY

Gunnar comes up in his weird outfit, looking much like Bette Midler but now he has a spear. He must have been shopping at Pier One or gone to clown college to get that wardrobe.

The real bad bad guy says "This is your relative, Gunnar!" Gunnar knows that he has to lie to protect Joe and kicks the boy full in his chest BAM. Of course, Joe barely flinches and has no clue that Gunnar is really not a bad bad guy but a good bad guy.

Joe and Carrie are tied up together, with her dress is seductively falling off her shoulders. Joe says "They will let us go." She says "No they will kill us ("Make me a woman before I die Joe!" says her eyes.)

The bad baddie tells Joe that, guess what?  Gunnar is his uncle and Joe is even sassier and tells Gunnar he is a murdering rat and no uncle of his. Boy, is he a brave Cartwright!

The bad baddy tells the guys that Gunnar is developing a conscious and I want to see him squirm before he dies. He tells the thugs to find a snake and tosses it at Gunnar.

Meanwhile back at the ranch, Carrie’s uncle who is not dead yet, rides to the

Ponderosa and falls on the front stoop. Plop.

The bad baddie leers at Carrie and tires to grope her. Joe tries to protect her and gets socked again. BAM! But does that stop our boy? NOOOOOooo. He takes a lickin’ and keeps on tickin’.

The guy comes back with a snake in a bag from the "snake in a bag drive thru" and lets it loose on Joe and Carrie. Her blouse is sliding lower and Joe is sweaty and handsome. Joe, being a hero flings his body between her and the snake (more symbolism?) and Gunnar shoots the snake. BAM!

The baddy and Gunnar fight with a big knife and the stunt men wrestle, tossing fire, and flipping each other around like two Jackie Chans on acid.

Joe cuddles Carrie. Oh baby!!!

Fists fly and Gunnar picks up the bad guy and flings him into the other bad guys. It is really not the bad guy but even a blind man could see it is a skinny dummy. The dummy is played by the same dummy that Joe carried wearing Adam’s clothes in "The Honor of Cochise" and the same dummy that played Joe falling off Eagle’s nest in "Between Earth and Heaven" and Lucy danced with Ricky in an "I Love Lucy" episode.

Gunnar kicks a knife to Joe and the baddie rolls under the wagon to lick his wounds like the dog he is.

Meanwhile back at the Ponderosa, Adam and Hoss have gone to look for Joe and Carrie but didn’t find them. With his dying breath, Abe, Carrie’s Uncle, describes that the raiders were not Indians but UNCLE GUNNAR’s band of baddies.

Ben Adam and Hoss ride off to find Joe and Carrie. Adam has that look like "I knew Gunnar was a skunk but I won’t say anything and I hope we get back those blankets they borrowed."

They ride among the papier-mache rocks and Hoss says this rock is so hard we can’t track them. Yeah sure; it is so fake that even Tirza’s rock of love looked better. The Cartwrights plan to split up and meet on top of the ridge in an hour.

Meanwhile back at the bad guy’s camp, Joe has cut the ropes and he and Carrie run off into the night. The bad baddie sees them and chases them. Gunnar wakes up and sees Joe and Carrie have escaped and is momentarily happy. They all run through the papier-mâché rocks and fake trees. Joe trips and tells Carrie keep running.

As Joe is limping through the woods with the knife, the baddie jumps out and shoots him. Even Bruce Willis in Die Hard would have been killed by now, but not our Joe!!!

Carrie screams (what a dope) and runs like a moron. The baddie chases the and Gunnar chases after the baddie.

Hoss enters from stage left and hysterical Carrie runs right into him. BAM! She is screaming again. Hoss smacks her. (A Cartwright hit a WOMAN?) She wails. "Joe is DEEEEEEEEEEEEEad. He shot him" (HE, meaning the bad baddie but Hoss assumes it is Gunnar. GEE, Hoss never assume.) Weep, weep.

Hoss makes her come with him as he would never leave her alone. He should have tossed her off the cliff.

Hoss sees Gunnar and assumes Gunnar is the one that shot Little Joe. Bad assumption.

And this is the part that is the infamous Booby tweak. As Hoss pushes Carrie aside, he puts his hand…well…on her chest. What a clutch!

Hoss and Gunnar (or the stunt men) fight to the death.

The bad baddie watches from on top of a rock like a buzzard. heh heh heh. Just as Hoss draws on his uncle to shoot him but can’t, SURPRISE! Joe limps in. Hoss is happy and says the famous "Punkin (or Punky?) I thought they killt you, boy!!!"

Joe says that Gunnar saved them.

The baddie on top of the rock says "I am gonna kill you!" Gunnar regains consciousness draws fire away from Hoss, Joe and Carrie (They should have tossed Carrie at the baddie but didn’t think of it, being gentlemen and Cartwrights, but she was wearing a BLUE Dress) Gunnar dies heroically saving them and Hoss shoots the baddie. Gunnar asks forgiveness and croaks in Hoss’ arms.

Joe bows his head and Carrie looks vapid. Perhaps she is thinking "That was some swell booby tweak. Maybe I should go out with Hoss."

In the last scene, back at the lake where Hoss and Gunnar went fishing, Ben tells morose Hoss that the posse is chasing the bad guys and consoles his son

by saying that Gunnar was always dreaming of the boat he couldn’t reach. Ben also says that Gunnar wouldn’t want them to mourn over him. Hoss tosses some sort of crappy boat in the water.  The End

We never find out what happened to Carrie but I hope she was "tending to Joe” and making him fell better. And Adam never got those blankets back from the bad guys.

REVIEWS:

“This episode is special for a number of things... The famous "Booby Tweak", Hoss calling Joe "Punkin" or something similar, and Joe getting more clobbered than even Wrangler could write.”  Robin

“I thought that show was good. But then I liked something about every show as long as it had the Cartwrights LOL. I wish poor Gunnar would have lived!”  Deb

“Last Viking is one of my favorite eps.  Poor Hoss looks so devastated when he thinks Joe is dead.”    Ginny

“This has always been one of my favorite Hoss episodes.  He is so thrilled to have someone around to bring back memories of his mother and loves his uncle unconditionally, just as he is...UNTIL he thinks the man killed his little brother!  Anyway, I thought Dan Blocker was wonderful in this episode.”  Leesa

“I have always loved this episode.  The scene where Joe leaps towards the bad guy to fight him and is shot in mid-air is one that is forever etched in my mind.  It was one of the first episodes I saw as a kid and I was so terrified that Joe was mortally wounded.”  Gina

“Overall, I've always like this ep. Dan did a great job with this one!  Judy

“I think the thing I like about this episode the most is how vividly it is displayed how much Hoss loves his little brother.  I think it might be the only episode in which Hoss referred to Joe by the name ‘punkin’, and it was probably good that Joe was bleeding profusely or Joe might have smacked him for using that term.”   Wrangler

“Now did Little Joe possibly bribe those baddies to perhaps stage that raid and tie him and Boobie...err Carrie up??” Gail (bunny bonanza)