EPISODE: San Francisco

By Ginny

Season 1, Episode 28, Air Date: April 2, 1960

Guest Stars: Robert Nichols, O.Z. Whitehead

Written by: Thomas Thompson

Directed by: Arthur Lubin

SUMMARY:

As our story opens, Ben, Hoss, Joe, and their two hands Hap and Johnny, are leaving the cattle buyer's office in San Francisco.  Ben tells them that he is going to treat everyone to a huge supper, then they can have 5 days in San Francisco.  Hap and Johnny tell Ben that after riding trail with Hoss and Joe, San Francisco will be tame. Ben, Hoss, and Joe go to their hotel and Hap and Johnny go off and promptly get into trouble. Ben tells them "This is not the Ponderosa".

After coming out of a bar called Pig Eye Pete's, Johnny says he wants to buy a bolt of silk for his wife.  A smarmy looking man overhears him and tells them he is a silk merchant.  Hap and Johnny follow him to an alley by the docks, where they are whacked on the head and thrown into a dark warehouse.  The smarmy-looking man says that he hopes Shanghai Pete will take them off his hands; the ship sails for Hong Kong at midnight.  A Chinese man watches this happen.

"Dum-de-dum-de-dum-Bonanza"  Ride up, sexy smiles around.

Back at the hotel, our guys are getting ready for their evening out.  Ben is worrying because Hap and Johnny aren't back yet.  Enter Joe CARRYING HIS SHIRT (darn, now he is putting it on).  Joe says that he feels guilty because they are getting a vacation and Adam is home working.  Ben says to Joe that he and Hoss must not have felt guilty when they rigged the straws.  Hoss and Joe look sheepish (and cute).

Hoss says that after supper he and Joe want to go to one of those places with the good lookin' waiter gals.  Ben tells them that they aren’t wandering around the Barbary Coast to be shanghaied.  Ben tells them that "this is not the Ponderosa".

Hop Sing (who apparently went to San Francisco with them) comes to the hotel room and tells Ben that his "Number 3 Cousin see two cowboys go into an ally and not come out" and he thinks it is Hap and Johnny because they aren't in their room.  Alarmed looks are exchanged, and the Cartwrights go to investigate.

Back to the smarmy looking guy who is telling the two rough looking guys who slugged Hap and Johnny that they need four more men by midnight.

Our guys have no success looking for Hap and Johnny.  Ben leaves Hoss, Joe, and Hop Sing at the Barbary Coast looking for them while he goes to the police.  Again, Ben reminds them that "this is not the Ponderosa".

Meanwhile, back at the Barbary Coast, Joe is evicted from a bar for being too young looking to drink, while Hoss wins more than $100.00 in a fist fight with a man named Bust Head Brannigan (who looks remarkably like Bluto in the old Popeye cartoons).  (For you Hoss girls, Hoss is shirtless here).

Ben sends Hoss and Joe back to the hotel, and he continues to look for Hap and Johnny with Hop Sing and Number 3 Cousin. Ben goes into a saloon and orders the infamous brandy squash, while Hop Sing and Number 3 Cousin wait outside.  He questions the bartender about his "two friends", and the bartender signals two rough looking characters.

Enter the saloon owner, Alexander Pendleton (disguised as Larry White), who maneuvers Ben to stand over a trap door. The bartender pulls a lever and Ben goes through the trap door, splash into some dirty looking water.

Meanwhile back at the hotel, Hoss and Joe are fussing about Pa. Hop Sing and Number 3 Cousin come to tell them that they don't know where Ben is.  Now they all go looking for Ben.

At least Ben has found Hap & Johnny.  Mr. Pendleton comes back with a ship's captain who buys Hap and Johnny.  He won't buy Ben because he is sober. Enter a pretty red-head (Kathleen) who tells Ben that Mr. Pendleton is Shanghai Pete.  She offers to help Ben get away if he pays her.

In the meantime, Hoss, finding out from Number 5 Cousin that Ben went into that saloon and never came out, goes in looking for him.  He too meets Mr. Pendleton, is maneuvered to the trap door, and splash into the same dirty water.

Ben goes with Kathleen, only to discover that she is known as Quick Buck Katie, who sells him to Cut Rate Joe for $50.00

Hoss proves to be more than the rough guys can handle and busts the saloon apart, aided by Joe who has shown up in the meantime.  Joe does his part by

subduing Quick Buck Katie. Joe uses Adam's technique of arm-twisting to find out from Katie that Pa was sold.

Hop Sing informs Hoss and Joe that Number 3 Cousin saw Ben, Hap, & Johnny being put on a ship.  They all head for the dock.  What follows is one of the best fight scenes ever:  Joe swinging on a rope like in an old Douglas Fairbanks movie, Hop Sing hauling one of the sailors up on a rope and cackling joyfully, and the Cartwrights tossing everyone overboard.

Later back at the hotel Ben is passing out raw steaks for everyone's black eye and Hoss is trying to find out how much Katie got for Pa.  Hop Sing shows up with a bolt of silk for Mrs. Johnny.  Everyone decides to go back to the Ponderosa and let Adam have a vacation. (For you Ben ladies, he looks mighty fine in that tight black sweater.)

REVIEWS:

“This is the first Bonanza I recall watching as a kid. I thought it was about a ship sinking and I couldn't quite understand why grown men cowboys were calling one of the other men "Pa".” Robin

“The scene in the hotel where Pa helps Joe on with his shirt is worth several rewinds and I do like the part when Joe and Hoss are on the Barbary Coast and Hoss has the fight with Busthead Brannigan and regrets all the times he has had similar fights for free.  Not so sure I approve of the way Joe manhandles the woman, but I suppose he learned that from Adam.”  Little Joe forever Lynne

“I like that ep coz it's funny, there's the first Shirtless Joe scene and I forgot the third thing that I like about the ep (dog was interrupting). Next to that big guy Hoss looked so small IMO.” Karine

“While this episode isn't technically a comedy, it certainly is light-hearted. Can you really see Ben ordering a "brandy squash" at some rough waterfront bar? And all the fight scenes involve more pushing people into water than actually beating them up. I think my favorite part (other than the "shirtless Joe" scene) is Hoss trying to find out how much the shanghaiers were willing to pay for Ben. I chuckle every time Hoss asks that question and Ben avoids the answer. Now, I know Irish would have paid a lot to have Ben delivered to her (or maybe she would have shanghaied him herself!), but I do think he was highly undervalued by going for only $50. And he certainly did look fine in that tight black sweater." Susan Grote

“My favorite scene is the fight on the ship.  Hop Sing is laughing and hauling that guy the bad guy on the rope and then hitting the other bad guy over the head with, was it a frying pan?  Just too funny!  The scene at the end is also really cute where the boys pretty much tell Pa that they would just as soon return to the Ponderosa than spend another day in San Francisco.” Nancy

“This is one of my fave episodes because Ben at some of his finest moments as a fun-loving father. Ahhh he knew his boys so well, didn’t he? I thought it rather funny that he knew the boys tricked Adam and let them get away with it. I suppose he probably thought Adam had done his share of traveling and Hoss and Joe would really enjoy the trip….I love it when Hoss and Joe both say “YOU SOLD HIM” in unison and looked at each other. There were lots of great moments in this show and at the end I thought those were the thinnest steaks I had ever seen!”  Deb