THE PIUTE AND THE PEA

It was a dark and stormy night. The girl sits at the window looking out at the rain and sighs.

"I'm board" she says.

She hates this backwater town. She is used to the good life in New York City and hates the fact that her brother has dragged her out to the frontier to "start a new life". Why he ever decided to choose Virginia City, Nevada was beyond her. All of the people here are such yokels and low-brow trash.

Another crash of lightning startles her out of her thoughts as her brother walked in the door.

"Gina, it's late. Why don't you go on to bed" he said.

"How am I suppose to sleep in all this racket, Edmund?" she said.

Just then there was a knock on the door.

"Who could that be in this terrible storm?" Gina said.

"I don't know, I'll get it" Edmund said.

Walking over to the door he opens it and a wet, drippy creature is falling into his arms all of a sudden.

" Oh my God! That looks like an Indian!" Gina shrieks.

"I believe you are right, Gina, I think she's just cold and worn out. Let's get her to bed and warm. We'll feed her, too."

"I will not have that creature in this house!" Gina is saying with a sniff and snotty tone in her voice.

"Gina, we can't send her back out in this storm. We are miles from town and we don't know where she comes from." Edmund says reasonably.

"Humpff!" Gina said. And stalks off.

Two days later:

Gina is walking around in the general store looking at frilly things and complaining to the storekeeper.

"So there we are with this... this... savage in our house and Edmund is waiting on her hand and foot. If I didn't know any better I'd say that that fool is starting to fall in love with the little mongrel. I'm sure he has better sense than that, however. He was raised right!"

"I'm sure he's just bein' a good Christian, Miss Gina." The storekeeper says nervously.

Just then Little Joe Cartwright and his big brother Hoss walks into the store. They are overhearing some of the conversation and tipping there hats at Miss Gina they break into the conversation.

"Miss Gina, Maam, I think we may know where your little Indian miss may of come from." Hoss says.

"Yes, Miss Gina, there is a band of friendly Paiutes camped out in a meadow on the Ponderosa. Our Pa lets them use that sight when they make their annual trip through here every year. I bet one of their young maidens was out gathering berries or something and got caught in that storm." Little Joe said.

"Yea, I'll bet they's right worried about her, too. We could go check it out fer' ya." Hoss says.

Gina is looking the two up and down with some disdain. Even tho this family is suppose to be the "creme of the crop" around this God-forsaken area they still look like low-class cowboys to her. Still, she is thinking, if they can be helping her with her little "problem" she can force a smile and talk nice to them if it gets her what she wants.

"Why, Thank you, Mr. Cartwrite! That would be most welcome. If you could find out where the little pest... er, pretty dear belongs I would be most grateful. I'm sure her family must be worried sick over her!" Gina is fluttering her eyelashes at Joe as she said this.

"Uh, sure Miss Gina. We'd be happy to." Joe says.

Later Gina gets home and finds her brother fussing over the Piute girl some more.

"Edmund! Stop that. It's embarrassing. Why can't you just toss the creature out, now. She seems to be fine."

"Gina, her name is Moonflower and we love each other. We want to be married!" Edmund says.

Now this is not never something that Gina could ever have predicted so she is really upset.

"Married! MARRIED!! Are you out of you're mind!! You are a well-bread young man raised in the utmost of gentility and you want to marry a savage! I'll not have it!" Gina is screaming and stomped around the room.

"There's not a lot you can do about it, Gina. I'm reached my majority and can do what I want. If you can't handle that then that's your problem not mine. You can either accept it or move out."

"Well, I never!" Gina says as she purses her lips in a offended pinched up pout. She is wringing her hands and breathing real fast because she is become so upset. She sticks her nose up in the air and says in a really snotty voice:

"The day I accept any marraige from you is the day you marry royalty!!" and saying this she flounces out of the room.

Edmunds is just standing there with his mouth hanging open and stands with his hands on his hips. Moonflower suddenly started smiling a small knowing smile and slips her little hand into Edmunds.

Later that day:

Gina pouts in her room and suddenly hears hoofbeats come up the road to there ranch. She walked over to the window and pulls the curtains back to see it is Little Joe Cartwright and his brother Hoss. Finally some good news. She will be able to get rid of that little Indian hussy once and for all to her tribe like she belongs. Gina walks outside to greet the two Cartwrights. Her brother is not around at the moment so this is the perfect opportunity to talk to the Cartwrights. She plasters a fake smile on her prissy face and holds out her hand. She is thinking that she will have to wash her hand after letting these dusty cowboys touch it but it can't be helped at the moment.

"Mr. Cartwright. I am so glad to see you. Tell me what news you have found out for me." She is saying.

Little Joe takes her hand and gallantly kisses it and Gina's eyes rise up abit at the unexpected refinement of the gesture. She supposes that he might not be SO bad after all but still certainly not as refined as a nice eastern boy. Too bad.

"Well, Miss Gina, we did indeed find Moonflower's family and they were very worried about her. We told them she was being taken real good care of and promised to come back with a message from her real soon."

Little Joe says.

"They'd come themselves but they's got no permission to be on this land anymore so's they can't come all this way." Hoss said sadly. The government had decreed only certain areas that the Indians could be and this was not one of them. Besides the reservation they had permission to hunt on certain lands once a year to gather their yearly needs and then go back to the reservation. Ben Cartwright had always given permission for the hunting and gathering.

Gina was thinking with great relief that the government was compleatly right to restrict such savages from getting near her. She was feeling great relief and said:

"Oh good! So when can Moonflower go home? Can you take her now?"

Just then Edmund comes walking around the corner hand in hand with Moonflower and is overhearing this remark.

"Moonflower isn't going anyware. I told you that we love each other and plan to marry" he says and pulls Moonflower into his arms where she looks up at him and smiles an adoring smile .

"Hey, that's great!" Hoss says and grins from ear to ear. "Congratulations!"

" Yea, you got yourself a real prize there." Joe is saying then. "She's a real Indian Princess."

Gina's face suddenly get's really white and she says:

"What did you just say?"

"I said that Moonflower is an Indian Princess." Joe says again.

"A Piute Princess" Hoss says.

"A Piute Princess?" Gina repeats.

"Possibly" Joe says.

"Poppycock!"

"Perfect!" shouts Edmund.

"Impossible!" says Gina.

"Prove it." says Edmund.

Gina turned slowly to look at Moonflower, stares at her for a moment then gets this nasty smile on her face.

"Fine, I will. Mr Cartwright, do you know where I can find several matteresses?"

Joe and Hoss look really confused.

"Matteresses? Why'd you need a bunch of matteresses?"

"Because. Just do as I say" Gina says in a haughty tone and stalks back into the house.

The next day:

Gina is pacing around her room in a tizzy. She won't tell anyone what her plan is. She has always heard that real royalty is really sensitive so she is planning on putting a pea underneath a bunch of mattresses and seeing if Moonflower can tell if it is there or not. If she can just prove that Moonflower is only a simple savage and not a Indian princess then she won't have to back down and give her approval of the wedding. Oh it will be so embarrassing if she has to go through with the wedding of her brother and an Indian! But she is given her word and won't go back on it.

Just then she hears a wagon pull up front and goes to see who it is. It is those Cartwright guys again and in the back of the wagon there is a whole pile of fluffy mattresses that they have brought from their own place and borrowed from friends and such. Gina goes outside and directs them to bring all the mattresses into the guest room and pile them all up one on top of another on the bed that Moonflower has been using. She is noticing that the cowboys are looking really curious and won't give them the satisfaction of telling them what she is up to so they finally give up after she thanks them and they all climb onto the wagon and wave and drive off. As soon as they are out of sight she pulls out a tiny, hard pea and places it underneath the very bottom mattress, right in the middle.

"Moonflower, my dear." Gina calls.

The Indian maiden comes walking around a corner and sees Gina smiling a really sickly sweet smile at her and cooing in a really fakey sweet voice.

"Moonflower, sweetheart, since we are to be sisters-in-law I thought you should be told of a family tradition we have for all of our prospective brides into the family. To show how much we welcome our brides we pile mattresses on the bed and have the bride-to-be sleep on it for a week. It symbolizes the love and comfort that you will find in our family."

Edmund has been overhearing this in the next room and walks out with a angry look on his face but seeing Gina's warning glance he doesn't say anything. Moonflower is looking thoughtful but pleased, like she thinks this really is a great honor. She has been brushing her long, black hair and excuses herself to go braid it.

"What do you think you're doing?" Edmund said in an angry voice.

"I'm proving to you that she's not really royalty, just like you asked." Gina says in a superior way. "If she passes this test you will have my blessing, otherwise we will be fighting over this until the day we die."

"Ok." says Edmund and walks off.

That night:

Gina helps Moonflower up to the top of her pile of mattresses with a ladder and wishes her a good night with an sarcastic smile on her face. She then goes to bed herself. The next morning she askes in a sly way:

"So my dear, I hope you slept well last night?"

Moonflower is looking down at her plate kind of embarrassed and not wanting to hurt Gina's feelings because all of a sudden Gina is starting to be nice to her.

"Yes, thank you."

Gina smiles in triumph and eats happily.

This happens again the next day and the next and the next. Finally it is the last day of the test and Gina fixes breakfast for what she hopes will be the last time for Moonflower. Edmund has been being very silent and moody for the last couple of days because he is afraid that his beloved Moonflower is failing the test and he will have to live the rest of his life fighting bitterly with his sister who he really does love in spite of the fact that she is always so high and mighty and thinking that she is so much better than everybody else.

Finally Moonflower walks slowly into the room. She has been looking very pale the last couple of days and seems very tired all the time but has not complained of anything. She sits down in her chair very, very slowly and sighs a big sign.

"So my dear, I hope you slept well last night?" Gina says in a very smug voice.

All of a sudden Moonflowers eyes start to well up with tears and she is looking very very sad.

"Oh sister-to-be, I am so sorry but I feel I have dishonored your family traditon. I slept on the floor last night for I couldn't bare another night on that bed. I am so ashamed! I tried, really I did!"

"What? What are you saying?" Gina said in astonishment.

Moonflower sobbed:

"The bed was so uncomfortable that I couldn't stand it anymore. I hurt all over!" and with that she slipped off the shawl around her shoulders and hiked her skirt up around her thighs. There were nasty black bruises all over her arms and legs. Gina and Edmund both gasped.

"They are even worse on the rest of my body." Moonflower says. "There is something in that bed that is like rolling over a sharp rock all night long! I couldn't stand another night of it. I am so sorry! I do not deserve to marry Edmund!"

Edmund jumped up with a shout of joy and swept Moonflower into his arms while Gina just stood with her mouth open. She had lost! And now her pride was going to have to make her take it in good grace. There was no doubt that Moonflower was indeed a Piute Princess.

One week later:

Edmund and Moonflower were wed. Gina stood up as her best maiden. Everybody is there, even the Piute tribe. There is a great celebration afterwards at the Ponderosa because Ben Cartwright wanted to be nice to the new couple. Gina looked at Little Joe Cartwright as he is dancing with a pretty girl all dressed up in his nice Sunday outfit. She has to admit that he wasn't half bad looking and starts over to ask him for a dance. Maybe it wasn't such a bad thing to live out here after all.